Finding her Beast
This is not the world your ancestors lived in.
The year is 4319 and we live in the world of the beast. My name is Nani, well it’s actually Ka’Nani Stu, and I am from the Tetsurian fire tribe of the Northeast. Today I have acquired the 15 years of age to leave the tribe. I may either go to Ray school to learn about history, Chi school to learn how to heal, or the school in United Coven to become a warrior.
I neither want to heal nor care about the history and I am pretty good with my own manna. So now I’m on my way to get my hair cut. My father tells me about his studies at the United Coven and tells me that although it is what makes me a beautiful woman I am now a warrior.
As I sit on the floor in the cottage of Mistress Zoi’s I watch my chocolate curls fall around me. I deeply inhale and exhale when the mistress in done. What once was a silky spill to my hips, now curls around my ears.
When we return home my mother averts her eyes, she can’t stand my choice but allows my wishes. The only thing she says as I pack is that I look like Keno. That slightly hurt. When I am finished I place my two bags near the door and gather my things This will be the last shower I take, the last pajamas I wear, and the last meal I eat in my families cottage.
I am listening to the cry of a jaden bird when Kin’a joins me. “My sister, why is it you sit alone upon the night of your freedom” I laugh she still is so young and untouched by the worries of the world “You shall see young after the four required years” As I gaze toward the moon I wonder about her life “What is it that you plain to do?” “Ray school” she said with such confidence. “What was before me and what could come interests me” I laugh as she turns to walk away. “Mom just wanted me to tell you to turn in for tomorrow” and with that she was gone, leaving me to ponder.
A sign that said “Welcome to United Coven” in six different languages was the first thing I saw when I stepped out of the shuttle. I was alone surrounded by thousands and had to find my own way to the school. After hours of talking to locals and one public transport after another I finally mad my way to the schools grounds. From the initial look it was breath taking, north end surrounded by a towering gate, south by the edge of a waterfall, east by forest, and west by what seemed to be a lava pit. The driver lets me out and helps me unload my bags.
The armor clad guards ask to see my student past and I take the digital card from its case in my backpack. The taller one slides it into the gate and I hear the mechanisms in the gate come alive. It moans open and I am allowed passage. As I reach the main entrance I enter into a sea of incoming students mostly male and a few wearing similar tribal clothing. This is it. “I am pleased to see that all of you have made the journey safely” the voice of an elderly yet full of authority female puts the voices of the nervous students at bay.
She takes a step away from the five people standing on the highest stair alongside her and continues. “During your stay in the United Coven you shall understand that you will be given five paths, one of which will lead you to greatness. Now, form one single file line and step forth. Everyone stood as if frozen in place. “No one wishes to move first.” It was more of a statement then question. “I will step forth” The entire crowd zeroed in on him. Tall butterscotch skin, eyes the color of almond, with short black hair, a voice that could melt hearts, and in water civilization attire.
He grabbed his belongings and made his way to the stairs to the school, never taking his eyes off of the woman. One he made his way to her she told him to kneel. A box beside her was opened and out she took a glass bead. The bead seemed to come alive with her touch and what she placed it to his forehead a brilliant light came from it. “Your spirit if strong yet free, and the monster in which you shall come to tame will be that of snow. She placed the bead in his hand and he was escorted into the school.
After that the rest of the students filed in and I was pushed somewhat toward the front. After the same performance went on for what seemed to be forever it was finally my turn. I hesitantly made my way to her and slowly kneeled down. “Keno” my head snapped to her “You have your brother’s spirit alive within you” when she placed the bead to my head I saw a light and eyes of amber. “Your beast will be wild and brave and it shall grow with you” then the light was gone and I was walking through heavy doors.
When we were inside we were told to go to which ever corridor matched your element. The fire corridor was warm and seemed to be filled with natural light. There was a gigantic living room and two winding stair cases right to male’s room left to females. I took all of this in as I felt recharged and a new. There were three floors to of females bedding. I was placed on the fourth.
And while there were a few students already there it was mostly new comers. After taking a bed against the window I thought about everything that has happen today. When the voice of a man was heard over a loud speaker the newcomers all jumped. We were instructed that dinner would commence in exactly an hour. And by that time it seemed we all were settled in just to travel to the dining room the size of a stadium. There were long tables aligned under the banner of each element.
On a plat form in eight grand chairs sat what I assumed to be the school staff. “Please be seated and feast” the woman from earlier said. On each table was enough food for a small army with delicacies from each tribal land. As we ate she continued to talk. “I am Mistress Tarla and shall be teaching the students of the dark arts. On faculty with me I have Mistress Arorie teaching fire, Master Hon teaching wind, Master Cozi teaching water, Master Martlin teaching earth, Mistress Vil teaching psychology, Master Xin teaching history and theology and last but not least Mister Jinx in charge of security.”
Mister Jinx stood and was what from my understanding of reading, was a troll. Only 4’3 and dark green hair coming out of pale yellow skin spoke “Good evening students, I am going to tell you of our safety procedures. You shall be confined to your element corridors by sundown and asleep at the latest three hours later.And nobody shall leave the school and go onto the training fields without an instructor. That is all” and with that he sat.
After awhile of waiting to seeing if any of the other instructors would speak the dining room erupted in talking. I spent this time getting a feel for the place and who everyone was. Some of the people were from neighboring tribes, others were the sibling of current of past students, and others were just looking for purpose.
When we returned to our rooms, the new students found our books, clothing, supplies, and schedules for the year in trunks in front of our beds. Some of the girls stayed up planning what they’d be wearing tomorrow with newly maid friends while others just went to sleep. I stayed up for a while and watched the sun set then when only candle light illuminated the room I drifted to sleep.
“An early rise awaits you new girls…” “Oh my gosh it’s the first morning…” “You sure I should wear this” “hurry up let’s go” the conversations of all of the girls on my floor irritated me to full awakens. I headed to the crowded shower rooms at was the first one back out. I got dressed in front of my bed in a deep red thigh length sleeveless kimono, slipped black shorts on underneath and tied my black Chuck Taylors. Then I stepped in front of the mirror and placed the medallion around my neck. I was ready.
The first place on my schedule was psychology. Mistress Vil looked like sex on heels. In a sea foam green floor length dojo style dress that had two slits to her knees, and her hair into a braid to her waist. Her period was spent talking to us about connections between human and beast, reading their emotions, and expecting what was around us.
Three classes later, and similar orientations from Master Xin and Mister Jinx who also taught self defense and battle tactics, I was traveling with a group of students to what seemed to be a mini volcano. The air was thick and warm, when we reached the top we saw a woman with pepper gray hair to her neck and wearing a wrapped cloth shorts and bikini style top sitting on a lone piece of volcanic rock. “My name is Mistress Arorie, from this day forward you shall come to class in light, cotton, attire that does not get in your way or restrict your movement”.
Though she seemed to have the body of someone aged 20, the wisdom in her voice reflected at least twice that. The screech of a loud bird came from over head and we all ducked. The shadow of a large bird casted over us and we saw its body land n the pits edge. It was magnificent its mane was a blaze that match the emotion in its eyes and its feathers seemed to be soft as silk. “This is Eryngo, a fire beacon and, my beast.
Some of the girls gasped and some of the guys laughed. “Starting tomorrow you shall set out on your quest to find the fire beast that shall accompany you in battle”. She stood then and came closer to the class. “You have free reign of all the fire elements land, which includes: the creatures that live in the lava of the pit, the ever burning forest just beyond, and any fire birds that may choose to land in your presence. But, be fore warned. Just because you choose a beast doesn’t mean it agrees. The bond between human and beast is eternal”.
At lunch all the classes of elements had similar accounts and were wonder which beast would be theirs. “It makes since now” One guy in the water and another in the earth element class as talking to another near the window. “That whole marble thing yesterday was to give us some insight to our beast” The earth element student joined in the discussion. “It’s strange; I think I saw my beast yesterday when the marble touched me. It was like it was there in my mind with me”.
The water student that hadn’t said anything yet turned his attention from the window to my direction. I thought that he looked directly at me for a moment but he turned back to the window as if his thoughts were unmoved. It was kind of nerve racking and all my thought were on during the study sessions. The days were short and the eating periods were long. We were taught to pay attention and take in everything that was presented to us.
When the sun set at the end of my first day I felt utterly drained. As if my energy went along with the movement of the sun. When it rose again the following day I felt it pull me from my sleep minutes before the others. We all followed the instructions given by Mistress Arorie and the other instructors of the elements. Fire students were short cotton shorts, tank tops, tee shirts, and no shoes. Water students wore swimming attire, earth students wore sturdy and protective clothing, and wind students were white kimonos, while the students of the dark arts wore black.
All the students were excited for their third hour to approach. When it did we set out on our first adventures. When the majority stayed around that lava pit, I decided to go in the ever burning forest. The air was thick and heavy on me as I traveled downhill. AS I got deeper into the forest it got hotter and darker. When I had felt that I couldn’t go in any deeper I stopped to take in some air. That’s when I hear it. The crunch of dried out brush just beside me made me stand up straight.
Growing up, I was taught to always be prepared for a fight to win. I listened as the noise grew louder and closer to where I was standing. When I first saw it I tensed out to pure fright. But once it came closer and sat right in front of me I felt at peace. I felt as if this was a long ago friend. I reached out instinctively to pat its fur; it let me and leant his head. Its fur was warm and soft to touch. I wanted to ride it so I did.
And when I sat on his back it felt as if I had all my life. We were gone, rushing out of the forest I the blink of an eye. We cleared the forest, rounded the pit, and kept going. We were leaving the grounds and I didn’t attempt to stop him. Mistress Arorie had said that we had to search for our beast in our own element, but she never said that we had to stay there. We ran through the edge of the earth forest and then the slowed when we reached the water fall.
My beast saw them first, a beast identical to mine with fur of snow and eyes of topaz, under him. The guy from the water tribe. Our beast sneered at each other then charged, both him and I were thrown from their backs. When he got up he came to my side to help me up. “I’m fine” I said more to myself then him. When we looked up again our beast were wrestling in the dirt. “They must be family” the new voice startled us both.
It was Master Cozi, he saw what happened and came over as fast as he could. “Some species bread of other elements, this could be an example of that”. “Or” he finished once I was standing again “they could be mated to each other” The look on his face told me he was serious even though I thought the idea was ridiculous. “Tare” he said to the water tribe boy, “escort this student back to her elements training land along with this note please” Tare bowed and said “yes master”.
We mounted our beast and headed back toward the fire element. Since we weren’t running, the ride back seemed to age on. “Miss, what is your name?” His question surprised me; I wasn’t expecting him to provoke a conversation. “I am Ka’Nani Stu, daughter of Kane” I recited the proper introduction I had memorized years ago. “Miss Ka’Nani, it is aware to you that if or beast a mated then we will spend a considerable amount of time together” “Yes this is to be understood” “And you also know that our beast feed off of our energy, so if we do not have a proper connection then theirs will be strained”
That hadn’t occurred to me. If I don’t put forth some effort to befriend Tare then I could end a bond of years unknown. But how could I not try and make this work. He is brave, strong, smart, and handsome. He brushed his damp hair away from his eyes and they caught mine. I felt something in me awaken. And it was almost as if my beast felt it too, he leaned his head toward Tare’s beast. I exhaled deeply “you have my word to try” I thought I saw a smile play on his lips “as do you”.
We made it back to my training ground and Mistress Arorie was seated on the pits edge watching the students around her. When she caught sight of us she seemed to be confused and came to meet us. “Miss Stu” she said “you have left the training grounds” it was more of a statement then a question. “Mistress Arorie, Master Cozi told me to give this to you” Tare said getting to the point. When she finished with the letter she folded it up, handed it back to us, and told us to visit Mistress Vil.
We did as told. Instead of parading two large beasts through the school we left them to sit outside wall length window outside the psychology class. Mistress Vil was shifting through books and didn’t notice us until we were standing right in front of her. Again, Tare gave the note and explanation. She looked at us for a moment the out the window. Tare and I stood there and waited for understanding of what was happening around us.
She pulled out a seat and began. “They are Ni and Inca, and have been mated for a turn of a century. Ka’Nani you have Inca the male and Tare, you have Ni the female. Due to the fact that your beast’s mood and emotion are a play off of yours, I would like you two to come and visit me during your hours of mentor less training. You two must get a deeper understanding, of yourselves and each other, then any other student here. And when you’re sent to war the alliance between you two will serve a great purpose.
But for today I would like you to just spend time with your beast and see me tomorrow when your classes are finished”. We were starting to understand that this was bigger than us and for eternity.
The year is 4319 and we live in the world of the beast. My name is Nani, well it’s actually Ka’Nani Stu, and I am from the Tetsurian fire tribe of the Northeast. Today I have acquired the 15 years of age to leave the tribe. I may either go to Ray school to learn about history, Chi school to learn how to heal, or the school in United Coven to become a warrior.
I neither want to heal nor care about the history and I am pretty good with my own manna. So now I’m on my way to get my hair cut. My father tells me about his studies at the United Coven and tells me that although it is what makes me a beautiful woman I am now a warrior.
As I sit on the floor in the cottage of Mistress Zoi’s I watch my chocolate curls fall around me. I deeply inhale and exhale when the mistress in done. What once was a silky spill to my hips, now curls around my ears.
When we return home my mother averts her eyes, she can’t stand my choice but allows my wishes. The only thing she says as I pack is that I look like Keno. That slightly hurt. When I am finished I place my two bags near the door and gather my things This will be the last shower I take, the last pajamas I wear, and the last meal I eat in my families cottage.
I am listening to the cry of a jaden bird when Kin’a joins me. “My sister, why is it you sit alone upon the night of your freedom” I laugh she still is so young and untouched by the worries of the world “You shall see young after the four required years” As I gaze toward the moon I wonder about her life “What is it that you plain to do?” “Ray school” she said with such confidence. “What was before me and what could come interests me” I laugh as she turns to walk away. “Mom just wanted me to tell you to turn in for tomorrow” and with that she was gone, leaving me to ponder.
A sign that said “Welcome to United Coven” in six different languages was the first thing I saw when I stepped out of the shuttle. I was alone surrounded by thousands and had to find my own way to the school. After hours of talking to locals and one public transport after another I finally mad my way to the schools grounds. From the initial look it was breath taking, north end surrounded by a towering gate, south by the edge of a waterfall, east by forest, and west by what seemed to be a lava pit. The driver lets me out and helps me unload my bags.
The armor clad guards ask to see my student past and I take the digital card from its case in my backpack. The taller one slides it into the gate and I hear the mechanisms in the gate come alive. It moans open and I am allowed passage. As I reach the main entrance I enter into a sea of incoming students mostly male and a few wearing similar tribal clothing. This is it. “I am pleased to see that all of you have made the journey safely” the voice of an elderly yet full of authority female puts the voices of the nervous students at bay.
She takes a step away from the five people standing on the highest stair alongside her and continues. “During your stay in the United Coven you shall understand that you will be given five paths, one of which will lead you to greatness. Now, form one single file line and step forth. Everyone stood as if frozen in place. “No one wishes to move first.” It was more of a statement then question. “I will step forth” The entire crowd zeroed in on him. Tall butterscotch skin, eyes the color of almond, with short black hair, a voice that could melt hearts, and in water civilization attire.
He grabbed his belongings and made his way to the stairs to the school, never taking his eyes off of the woman. One he made his way to her she told him to kneel. A box beside her was opened and out she took a glass bead. The bead seemed to come alive with her touch and what she placed it to his forehead a brilliant light came from it. “Your spirit if strong yet free, and the monster in which you shall come to tame will be that of snow. She placed the bead in his hand and he was escorted into the school.
After that the rest of the students filed in and I was pushed somewhat toward the front. After the same performance went on for what seemed to be forever it was finally my turn. I hesitantly made my way to her and slowly kneeled down. “Keno” my head snapped to her “You have your brother’s spirit alive within you” when she placed the bead to my head I saw a light and eyes of amber. “Your beast will be wild and brave and it shall grow with you” then the light was gone and I was walking through heavy doors.
When we were inside we were told to go to which ever corridor matched your element. The fire corridor was warm and seemed to be filled with natural light. There was a gigantic living room and two winding stair cases right to male’s room left to females. I took all of this in as I felt recharged and a new. There were three floors to of females bedding. I was placed on the fourth.
And while there were a few students already there it was mostly new comers. After taking a bed against the window I thought about everything that has happen today. When the voice of a man was heard over a loud speaker the newcomers all jumped. We were instructed that dinner would commence in exactly an hour. And by that time it seemed we all were settled in just to travel to the dining room the size of a stadium. There were long tables aligned under the banner of each element.
On a plat form in eight grand chairs sat what I assumed to be the school staff. “Please be seated and feast” the woman from earlier said. On each table was enough food for a small army with delicacies from each tribal land. As we ate she continued to talk. “I am Mistress Tarla and shall be teaching the students of the dark arts. On faculty with me I have Mistress Arorie teaching fire, Master Hon teaching wind, Master Cozi teaching water, Master Martlin teaching earth, Mistress Vil teaching psychology, Master Xin teaching history and theology and last but not least Mister Jinx in charge of security.”
Mister Jinx stood and was what from my understanding of reading, was a troll. Only 4’3 and dark green hair coming out of pale yellow skin spoke “Good evening students, I am going to tell you of our safety procedures. You shall be confined to your element corridors by sundown and asleep at the latest three hours later.And nobody shall leave the school and go onto the training fields without an instructor. That is all” and with that he sat.
After awhile of waiting to seeing if any of the other instructors would speak the dining room erupted in talking. I spent this time getting a feel for the place and who everyone was. Some of the people were from neighboring tribes, others were the sibling of current of past students, and others were just looking for purpose.
When we returned to our rooms, the new students found our books, clothing, supplies, and schedules for the year in trunks in front of our beds. Some of the girls stayed up planning what they’d be wearing tomorrow with newly maid friends while others just went to sleep. I stayed up for a while and watched the sun set then when only candle light illuminated the room I drifted to sleep.
“An early rise awaits you new girls…” “Oh my gosh it’s the first morning…” “You sure I should wear this” “hurry up let’s go” the conversations of all of the girls on my floor irritated me to full awakens. I headed to the crowded shower rooms at was the first one back out. I got dressed in front of my bed in a deep red thigh length sleeveless kimono, slipped black shorts on underneath and tied my black Chuck Taylors. Then I stepped in front of the mirror and placed the medallion around my neck. I was ready.
The first place on my schedule was psychology. Mistress Vil looked like sex on heels. In a sea foam green floor length dojo style dress that had two slits to her knees, and her hair into a braid to her waist. Her period was spent talking to us about connections between human and beast, reading their emotions, and expecting what was around us.
Three classes later, and similar orientations from Master Xin and Mister Jinx who also taught self defense and battle tactics, I was traveling with a group of students to what seemed to be a mini volcano. The air was thick and warm, when we reached the top we saw a woman with pepper gray hair to her neck and wearing a wrapped cloth shorts and bikini style top sitting on a lone piece of volcanic rock. “My name is Mistress Arorie, from this day forward you shall come to class in light, cotton, attire that does not get in your way or restrict your movement”.
Though she seemed to have the body of someone aged 20, the wisdom in her voice reflected at least twice that. The screech of a loud bird came from over head and we all ducked. The shadow of a large bird casted over us and we saw its body land n the pits edge. It was magnificent its mane was a blaze that match the emotion in its eyes and its feathers seemed to be soft as silk. “This is Eryngo, a fire beacon and, my beast.
Some of the girls gasped and some of the guys laughed. “Starting tomorrow you shall set out on your quest to find the fire beast that shall accompany you in battle”. She stood then and came closer to the class. “You have free reign of all the fire elements land, which includes: the creatures that live in the lava of the pit, the ever burning forest just beyond, and any fire birds that may choose to land in your presence. But, be fore warned. Just because you choose a beast doesn’t mean it agrees. The bond between human and beast is eternal”.
At lunch all the classes of elements had similar accounts and were wonder which beast would be theirs. “It makes since now” One guy in the water and another in the earth element class as talking to another near the window. “That whole marble thing yesterday was to give us some insight to our beast” The earth element student joined in the discussion. “It’s strange; I think I saw my beast yesterday when the marble touched me. It was like it was there in my mind with me”.
The water student that hadn’t said anything yet turned his attention from the window to my direction. I thought that he looked directly at me for a moment but he turned back to the window as if his thoughts were unmoved. It was kind of nerve racking and all my thought were on during the study sessions. The days were short and the eating periods were long. We were taught to pay attention and take in everything that was presented to us.
When the sun set at the end of my first day I felt utterly drained. As if my energy went along with the movement of the sun. When it rose again the following day I felt it pull me from my sleep minutes before the others. We all followed the instructions given by Mistress Arorie and the other instructors of the elements. Fire students were short cotton shorts, tank tops, tee shirts, and no shoes. Water students wore swimming attire, earth students wore sturdy and protective clothing, and wind students were white kimonos, while the students of the dark arts wore black.
All the students were excited for their third hour to approach. When it did we set out on our first adventures. When the majority stayed around that lava pit, I decided to go in the ever burning forest. The air was thick and heavy on me as I traveled downhill. AS I got deeper into the forest it got hotter and darker. When I had felt that I couldn’t go in any deeper I stopped to take in some air. That’s when I hear it. The crunch of dried out brush just beside me made me stand up straight.
Growing up, I was taught to always be prepared for a fight to win. I listened as the noise grew louder and closer to where I was standing. When I first saw it I tensed out to pure fright. But once it came closer and sat right in front of me I felt at peace. I felt as if this was a long ago friend. I reached out instinctively to pat its fur; it let me and leant his head. Its fur was warm and soft to touch. I wanted to ride it so I did.
And when I sat on his back it felt as if I had all my life. We were gone, rushing out of the forest I the blink of an eye. We cleared the forest, rounded the pit, and kept going. We were leaving the grounds and I didn’t attempt to stop him. Mistress Arorie had said that we had to search for our beast in our own element, but she never said that we had to stay there. We ran through the edge of the earth forest and then the slowed when we reached the water fall.
My beast saw them first, a beast identical to mine with fur of snow and eyes of topaz, under him. The guy from the water tribe. Our beast sneered at each other then charged, both him and I were thrown from their backs. When he got up he came to my side to help me up. “I’m fine” I said more to myself then him. When we looked up again our beast were wrestling in the dirt. “They must be family” the new voice startled us both.
It was Master Cozi, he saw what happened and came over as fast as he could. “Some species bread of other elements, this could be an example of that”. “Or” he finished once I was standing again “they could be mated to each other” The look on his face told me he was serious even though I thought the idea was ridiculous. “Tare” he said to the water tribe boy, “escort this student back to her elements training land along with this note please” Tare bowed and said “yes master”.
We mounted our beast and headed back toward the fire element. Since we weren’t running, the ride back seemed to age on. “Miss, what is your name?” His question surprised me; I wasn’t expecting him to provoke a conversation. “I am Ka’Nani Stu, daughter of Kane” I recited the proper introduction I had memorized years ago. “Miss Ka’Nani, it is aware to you that if or beast a mated then we will spend a considerable amount of time together” “Yes this is to be understood” “And you also know that our beast feed off of our energy, so if we do not have a proper connection then theirs will be strained”
That hadn’t occurred to me. If I don’t put forth some effort to befriend Tare then I could end a bond of years unknown. But how could I not try and make this work. He is brave, strong, smart, and handsome. He brushed his damp hair away from his eyes and they caught mine. I felt something in me awaken. And it was almost as if my beast felt it too, he leaned his head toward Tare’s beast. I exhaled deeply “you have my word to try” I thought I saw a smile play on his lips “as do you”.
We made it back to my training ground and Mistress Arorie was seated on the pits edge watching the students around her. When she caught sight of us she seemed to be confused and came to meet us. “Miss Stu” she said “you have left the training grounds” it was more of a statement then a question. “Mistress Arorie, Master Cozi told me to give this to you” Tare said getting to the point. When she finished with the letter she folded it up, handed it back to us, and told us to visit Mistress Vil.
We did as told. Instead of parading two large beasts through the school we left them to sit outside wall length window outside the psychology class. Mistress Vil was shifting through books and didn’t notice us until we were standing right in front of her. Again, Tare gave the note and explanation. She looked at us for a moment the out the window. Tare and I stood there and waited for understanding of what was happening around us.
She pulled out a seat and began. “They are Ni and Inca, and have been mated for a turn of a century. Ka’Nani you have Inca the male and Tare, you have Ni the female. Due to the fact that your beast’s mood and emotion are a play off of yours, I would like you two to come and visit me during your hours of mentor less training. You two must get a deeper understanding, of yourselves and each other, then any other student here. And when you’re sent to war the alliance between you two will serve a great purpose.
But for today I would like you to just spend time with your beast and see me tomorrow when your classes are finished”. We were starting to understand that this was bigger than us and for eternity.
Have you ever inhaled sunlight?
...reader be ware...
Have you ever inhaled sunlight? Heavy and Hot. Then you’d probably never had a good kiss. That or inhaled an ounce of crank. I haven’t either for that matter. I haven’t kissed anyone worth being good. That or smoked crank, well not in a while. It’s been about two and a half years since that haze of smoke has clouded my mind. They take it away when you get locked up.
No I’m not in jail, jive, or prison. But it feels like it. I’m at the Greenstone Park Psychiatric Hospital. It’s a really piece of work here. And if you couldn’t tell if I have a little extra down there or not I’m a chick. I’ve been that way since July 31, 1994. Just to paint you a picture, in a really ugly frame. I’m 5’8, caramel skin, and ebony hair to my chest. Oh wait I forgot they made me cut it last week now it’s to my shoulders. They make you do a lot you don’t want to here. They all say “It helps us help you”. But who said I wanted help and meant it.
My case worker, a woman who really needed to get bent over and poked, said it to get a pay check. The jury said it because then I was a child. They didn’t know I had lost all innocents a long time ago. And the only thing I said through the entire ordeal was just let me die. Words that brought tears to all the eyes in the court room when they left the lips of a fourteen year olds mouth. So now I’m getting “help”.
But I didn’t know getting gang raped by nurses female and male, talking about things that grown men would cry trying to attempt to doctors probably as screwed as the patients, and sitting around people that make child predators seem normal was “help”. Then I laugh were all in the age range of 13-18 in this wing of the word. And aren’t we supposed to be the future? So either the past has screwed us over to the point of no return or the future has not chance. Laughing at the rest of the world who put us off to be “troubled”, they use harsher words, is the only time I truly laugh in here.
Here. You probably are wondering how the daughter of a marine and a "home maker" got in this type of place. You think post traumatic stress is hereditary? But just to make a long story short it goes like this. A fire was started in what use to be my home. My mother, father, sister, and dog died. Everyone thinks I should have too. But when you start the fire you have enough time to get out. I mean it’s not like I didn't call 911. And no one could prove I did anything. But when you tell an entire courtroom you did it nobody needs proof. They just funds for your stay at the crazy house.
****
So here I am just as lovely as ever in this attire they make us wear to tell us apart from the staff. It's not like we try to get out of this hell hole though. After the second week Greenstone Park becomes your new home. It grows on you just like sharing a meal with murders, rapist, and arsonist all under the age of 18 grows on you. Lol I know what you all are thinking and we are the sick ones. But you people are reading the thought of a wacko kid in an asylum and decide to pass judgment. Oh wait hold that thought here comes Conner, the third floor west wing nurse, with my meds.
Being on a combination of Aventyl HCI, Celex, Cymbalta, Desyrel and Clozapine makes me a little hard to comprehend.Yep that’s nurse “feel good”, Conner Nancy. Child nanny, first grade teacher, or something of that nature raped him when he was younger. Then tried to off himself when the school librarian broke up with him. He failed, got in here and stayed. This place has a school program and all that nice stuff funded by the state. Well swallow a couple in this color choke down the rest. Now it’s time to go to group therapy, yay. To hell I really want to sit in an all white room and talk about the same things.
But I guess I’m not going to be late. The door to my room opens and I fallow the colored tape along the floor. It goes green to classroom, yellow to bathroom, red to conference room, blue to chow hall and rec. rooms and white to rooms. Now I’m on my way to red 289, self awareness and thought. Since we all are in our high school years the atmosphere is such. Walking in the room with wooden benches, mats and bean bag chairs in a circle around the room. With sky blue walls and soft tan carpet, a couple pairs of eyes meet mine. They belong to my “class” or whatever. First is Delia.
You know how every school has a “well known” female, not because she’s smart but because of other things she can do with her head. That’s 5’4, caramel skin, c-cup, and always moving lips Delia. Doesn’t she sound nice? She’s in here for child prostitution. She liked the thrill of meeting new people. Then we have Bill and Will, no their not twins. But the funny thing is on likes to cut himself and the other likes to cut others. Don’t they make good friends? That’s a self explanatory joke. And as in all high schools we have the most popular and beautiful couple, Carrington and Blake Skiver.
As in both have the same last name and are brother and sister Skiver. Told you we all had issues in this hell hole. And then Eric, he’s probably what you would call a friend, sexy too. He’s 6’0, Blond shaggy hair, defined body, and a voice that could talk you into anything. Just too bad he redefined having OCD. You walk into his room in here, which he got changed thrice, and even breathe the wrong way well he doesn’t make messes. He didn’t even when he killed his mother for touching his…well we actually don’t know. He just put her into tiny plastic bins one day.
And last our teacher Mrs. Molly Sue Johnson. Would you like to get an easy A? She’s in here for well…having sex with all the students in her psychology classes, she taught 3 classes. I take the empty beanie next to Eric and notice Mrs. Sue has space next to her. Does this mean new person? Well on with class today’s discussion it’s why we do the things we do. I did what I did because I could, I wanted to, and because I thought it would be funny to watch all the pretty colors of the fire burn through my house. It was. The rest of the classes stories are relatively the same.
This person did this to me, I couldn’t take this, and it feels good when I do this. Blah blah blah. I was tired of the life I was living so I changed it. Guess we’re not getting a new person; class is over in two minutes. Time to fallow the blue tape, class lets out and guys on one side girls on the other. We can go get a healthy snack; surprisingly they can cook in this place, or chill in a room with the same sex and two guards for about an hour. I choose to flirt with the 5’9, cream skin, chocolate hair and braces dude behind the counter in the mess hall. Conner.
It’s fairly easy to get away with things in here, just bat your pretty black eyelashes at an impressionable nurse. And it’s like they want you to be a little whore with the cloths they give you. Girls are in yellow, pink, purple, or orange tight tees. Grey thigh lengths shorts, pants or knee lengths skirts. Guys are similar. Tees in white, blue, green, or black. And black basketball shorts or pants. Both genders wear white or black tennis shoes. So when I walk up to Conner in an almost see-through yellow shirt, grey shorts, black tennis shoes, and black lace around my wrists and neck.
With my hair in soft curls and light yellow eye shadow, you have to be mentally cleared for the extra stuff, he almost dropped the stack of plates he was holding. "H-Hey" Terra he sputters and I give him a coy smile. I coo “Hello Conner” and his face turns pink. “Got anything special for me?” He reaches under the counter and brings out a bowl of fruit salad. He said "I made this fresh for you this morning" as he passed it toward me. Now Conner is a very cute guy just lacks self confidence since I’ve known him. As I go to reach for the bowl I say “Care to share?” I already know he can’t they do have some rules in here, one being no patient staff relationships.
As if anyone would care everyone in here does it anyway. He says "You already know I can’t, but I’ll stop by your room later”. I act upset to get a reaction so I pout my lips and walk away. I know how to read him like a book before I even reach the empty oak picnic table in the back of the room, he was trailing behind me. I bend over to let him get a good look at how short my shorts actually are before sitting down. Once he takes the seat across from me I say “Thought you didn’t want to” twisting his words around as I say them.
He immediately catches on "Terra I said I couldn't"…cutting him off I ask “So what changed your mind?” In his sweetest voice he answered "Your eyes". The rest of the “snack time” went with me testing his testosterone and mental stability. I told Conner “See you later” when the bell chimed without leaving him a question on if he had to come to my room later. I passed the second group of people as they came in. And as I was walking through the door I heard Delia say "I didn’t know nurses could be so sexy".
That will be a conversation for later.
Everyone in here in every level knew that 1. I didn’t take any mess and 2. Don’t touch what’s mine. Now it’s time to fallow yellow then green tape. I go to the ladies bathroom then classes. They make you get credit to graduate at you grade level. Sitting next to Eric and Bill in English about to go out of my mind because one keeps asking me for a tissue I don’t have and the other for the paperclip holding my report together. Delia comes in about 40min late to class. Most people look at her others continue in their own little worlds. Mr. Larry, a short impatient man who doubles as a language teacher and probably the only teacher who wasn’t a patient her at one time or another, looks up over his wide framed brown glasses.
"Ms. Evan’s" he spoke after her as she headed for her seat in the back of the class. And as she took her seat she said "I’m sorry Mr. Larry, I was busy talking to a nurse", looking in my direction when the last word left his lips. He allowed this tardiness and went back to his lesson plains. Only two things ran through my mind reestablishing boundaries and keeping what’s mine. Nothing really happened the rest of the day. Just I contemplated ways to get back at Delia. After lunch and the rest of my classes I walk along the white lines all the way back to my room.
In every room theirs a twin sized bad, desk, lamp, bookshelf, clock, hamper and dresser. Depending on your psych evaluation you can get accessories, make-up, personalized deodorant shampoo etc., TV or laptop. I chose accessories and TV if I needed I could walk to the computer class. I walk in and immediately take off my cloths and throw them in the hamper. And as soon as I’m down to my black lace undies theirs a knock on my door. I check the clock I see it’s too early for dinner call and say “Who is it?” "M-me" the familiar voice sputters. “Come in” I say as I continue looking for something to wear for dinner. His eyes look me from bottom to top then in nervousness he asks "Would you like me to come back later?"
I plainly tell him to “Sit down and turn on the TV”. And he does as he is told. Then just to let him know I’m serious I come around to the side of the bed he’s sitting on and put my right knee on his left thigh. Run my hand up the side of his face and wrap my fingers in his chocolate hair. “Oh Conner…whatever shall we do” I coo. His face tells me that he’s aroused and confused. Leaning in so my chest is at his face, I clarify “What is going on between you and Delia?” Still the puzzled look on his face, I let go of his hair and got off of him. And as soon as I turned around he grabbed my waist and pulled me onto his lap.
"Delia" he paused “is nothing she could never care for me the way you do" then he let me go, stood up and finished "do for me what you do". I kissed his neck and asked “What should I wear for dinner?” It’s a tradition in here to dress up on Friday night’s dinner. He went to the bottom dour and pulled out a black knit dress and said "This seems nice, see you after dinner", kissed my forehead and left. Getting dressed I think about my life out of here everything I plan on doing and if Conner will still be part of my life. You’re probably wondering what is actually going on between him and I.
Truthfully I don’t know. He was the nicest person to me when I came here. And even though he’s about five years older I use him. He’s caring and kind but a gullible pushover. And he gives me what I want without question, but sometimes I care. Think how sweet he is to me and wonder. But now I’m just wondering what’s for dinner. It sells nice I think some sort of chicken and maybe noodles. I take a wooden seat and pull up to the matching table next to this quiet girl named Kylie.
She’s exactly what I need. Someone who doesn’t talk, keeps to herself, doesn’t speak unless spoken to and in here for cutting her boyfriend and the chick he was cheating on her into tiny pieces. I tap her blond hair covered shoulder. The turns to face me but doesn’t speak. “Kylie, what’s for dinner” I ask. She gets up and goes toward the counter. I think to myself okay then. Before Kylie gets back, with food for two, Eric whips the seat and table next to me and sits down. Not what I need but I decide to be nice “Hello Eric”. Kylie quietly repeats me as she passes me my plate.
As I’m finishing eating when I watch Delia as bounces in, wearing nothing by a tight white piece of cloth, and lean into the counter toward Conner. He quickly eyed me and she fallowed his gaze. Flipping her hair in my direction and continuing she started to talk to Conner. You could see in his face he was growing uneasy I just looked at him and laughed. When I was finished with my chicken pasta she was still up there. I tossed my plate and fork into the sink bin and felt they were both watching me.
She wanted a reaction I didn’t give her one. Delia is the type of person that got any type of dude she wanted. Conner is the type of person that only wanted what he needed. And I think about this all as I fallow the white taped road. I honestly don’t feel like doing anything. Just feel myself sinking into that familiar haze of life. Barely here and barely there I just let life go and skin further. Just then Conner comes in without a knock or even a word he picks me up and lays me on his chest.
It seems like the same side affect from psychotic med withdraw, life in an ocean of haze, at the same time. I find the energy to ask “Why are you in here?” He strokes my hair and tells me to "Be quiet". And goes on to say "There’s talk about you getting DX-ed in about a month, which means you be leaving soon. I just think about what all we could do when you are out. I just want to be with you". But the haze carried me away off into a place filled with a pure heart beat and a sweet voice before I can respond to him. I wake up to the sound of my alarm and look around my room.
I’m under my blanket and my pillow is where Conner was when I drifted off. Conner, I wonder when he finally left. The last thing I remember is "I love you". But that had to be a dream. How could anyone, especially someone who barely loves himself, love me? I grab my shower stuff and head toward the bathroom. As I walk in the shower stalls I coax it up to just my head filled with withdraw haze. I turn the water all the way up and let it steam. I check the rest of the shower stalls to make sure I’m alone. Then I untie my hair, step in, and the warm water runs down my body. I finally get a chance to exhale by myself, but only for a second.
There’s a limited time to be in the shower. But it was nice while it lasted. I step out and look at the mirror. Normal people see a reflection, see a familiar face. I see someone beautiful. Teddy gram skin, a few marks here and there acne sucks. Light ebony hair, soft and curly from my shower, eyes of liquid tented brown, with blurry vision thank you dad. Nice even curves here, dents where hips go there. And I see all these pretty things just not me. Just not a person who lives the type of life I live. I turn my head away and hold back a tear. I will be that person someday.
The clock on the wall chimes, letting me know its 7am, everyone is waking up now. I towel dry my body and get dressed in front of the mirror. Put on a pink shirt, grey pants and white shoes. Do my make-up, tie my bows which today are white, and put in my contacts. I check the clock to make sure I’m in my room before the 7:25 med. call and gather my things. And as the rest of the girls file in I walk out. The halls are awakening with buzz of what happen last night, nothing really.
Eager to see the beautiful face bring me a cup of things I “need” I hurry back to my room. I straighten everything up and check the clock, 7:22. It seems like time is moving so slow so I turn on the mind numbing TV to wait. My door opens and I jump up to my feet. Only it’s not the face I want to see, it’s Elizabeth. She graduated the year I came in; this place gives you an automatic job afterwards. But all in all she’s a pretty nice girl. I take my cup and ask about Conner. She tells me "Conner got an early start on breakfast and I took his medication shift". I fallowed her into the hallway as I swallowed my cup of “happiness”.
Mixed in with all the other levels, but still girls on one side males on the other, we head toward the chow hall. The wide room looks as it always does, long wooden table on either sides. Individual four seats down the middle and the food counter and sink opposite of when you walk in. Not really caring what I get, I go into the line which leads to the face I want to see. I was just standing by myself and twiddle dee and dumb join behind me. You know when people talk loudly because they want you to hear. "So Patricia how was your night, thought I heard someone moaning your name from the male bathroom" Delia said trying to catch my attention.
I was paying her no mind. The female known as Patricia laughed and playfully shoved Delia on her shoulder. She must have caught on to her game because she replied "Well my night wasn’t as eventful as yours, what was all the bumping on the walls. And I thought Conner was supposed to do night watch, but when I went into the hall he was nowhere to be found". Delia took a step closer and said "I will never tell" as they both started to laugh. Really she didn’t know Conner was in my room all night I just kept to myself and waited in line. A couple minutes later it was my turn.
Conner greeted me with a wide smile and a "Good morning beautiful. How did you sleep?" I just had to smile back; the thought of Delia’s face at his words amused me. I took a bowl of oatmeal and a juice box and before I walked away blew him a kiss. While I was walking back to the table, thoughts of last night kept popping up in my head. I was thinking a little more about love. Conner Nancy is…I don’t know what he is to me. When I got here I cried everyday and he stayed in my room with me, was the first person I talked to. And now he says he loves me. What if I love him? That’s too much to think about in too little time. Now I have to jump back in the day to day routine of life in here.
Time to jump into a beanie and sit in a class talking about emotions, feelings and crap I don’t really care about. Personally, if they just lock us up and keep us here when go through all the trouble of this type of stuff. And now I’m actually glad I went to class, we finally got that new person. He’s sitting next to Mrs. Sue and yeah you can tell. He’s leaning against the bench in all black when we walk in. His name is Kevin Onitsha. And about 5’6 pale, skin, with spiky jet black hair. Easy hazel eyes and a real nice voice, that’s when he did talk. Most of the class he kept quiet, just analyzing the room.
When classes let out and we dividedly went to where we wanted to go for “snack time” he chose to go to chow hall, but he sat in the back. Having nothing better to do other then wait for Conner to get there I went to sit with Kevin. As I pulled out the chair across from him he just looks at me. Partly in confusion and partly in shock he said nothing and I returned his gaze. “Hello” I said in a chipper voice. He gives me a once over, paying close attention to my pink shirt, and says “Hey”. So he’s Asian, nice body, and smooth voice. Yep Terra just made a new friend.
****
Back in my room I lie in my bed and contemplate the end of another meaningless week. I start to let myself drift into a feeling less place when there’s a soft rap on my door. I know who it is and that he’ll enter without a reply so I just lay there until I feel the shift on weight on the bed beside me. “Why did you stay here?” I ask without actually acknowledging his presents. He waits a moment partly hoping I’ll give him more a warmer hello then shifts closer to me before answering. I felt his smile against my check as he answered my question with another “Why leave paradise?”
I sigh and recite “Where tears fall heavy enough to break the wings of a butterfly Where the only smile is from an idiot to ignorant to understand why Where the anger you have pinned inside is too much to bear Where ugly words and evil gestures are the only things we share Where the worst politicians are made from the kind of hearts Where the best people are ruined from their very starts Where love can never be obtained because of no belief Where the only emotion felt is a seldom one of grief Where the sun is too disappointed to shine Where you and I are truly unkind Paradise”.
He rolls me on top of him “I love your poetry…but…do you really have to make times seem so grim?” Finally opening my eyes I offer a silent apology and give a soft kiss on his cheek. He starts to pull at my curls and says “My turn for a question”. I lay my head on his chest and prepare for the brief trip inside Conner’s head then whisper an “Okay”. “Why are you so against loving me?”
Well I wasn’t ready for that. Conner was a lot of things but blunt surely wasn’t one of them, where did his shift in self assurance come from. For once in my life I let the truth of my emotions come out “Because I’m so against getting my heart broken”. Now it was his turn to get thrown off kilter. It took him a moment to put together his thoughts and he gave a soft chuckle as he grabbed my hand and spoke again.
“Is that what you think I’ll do…” I could see he wanted to say more but couldn’t put together the right words. “Anything is possible in paradise” I said turning my head away not wanting this conversation so continue any further. He softly turned my head and looked into my eyes “I love you and you love me, I will protect you and honor you and you will only have to love me”. And with that I let the conversation drop he’d have to leave soon so I let myself drift away only concentrating on a strong steady beat. Everything felt right.
That is until I woke up in a cold bed, in a quiet room, and a pain in my head. I’m alone with a thousand thoughts all about one person. And after I shower get dressed and head back to my room, I get summoned over the PA system to Mrs. Davies office. My head is still whirling as I pull steal legs across linoleum and meet cold plastic with flesh. I’m truly not listening to the too thick woman looming over a tiny uncomfortable metal desk. But I do tune into certain things like I have to write an essay on how the Greenstone Park Psychiatric Hospital has helped me and do a final challenge in about a month to be DX.
Wonderful as if I think this place has helped me do anything more than teach me how to make an origami bird and further my hatred of the human race. But I say nothing as I thank her for the news and make my way to my room.Well apparently it won’t be my room for long, in two short months ill that the wilderness challenge and get DX’ed. The people in charge seem to think if you can rough it 30 miles away from civilization for a week you are ready for the world. Right, stick a group of teenage psychos and two hyperactive nature enthusiasts together for one week and don’t expect someone to take a long walk on a short cliff.
But enough self ranting, it’s bad for completion. And so is skipping breakfast thank you Mrs. Davies! Now I’m angry, hungry, and late to “Outward Expression and Focus” (Art class). As I trudge into class Mr. Kemp has already began explaining what to do with the ruler, construction paper, and pencil on each table. It was pretty simple we were making diamonds by graphing lines and crossing them. Connect the dots. By the end of the hour I had made 8 diamond all of different color combinations. I hope the rest of the day went this easy and brainless.
A couple periods later and it’s my favorite past time, even though I think I was more eager for food then Conner. When I walk through the open double doors I take notice of several things. Conner behind the counter informing a new face in staff cloths on how to run things back there, Kevin sitting alone toying with a green and black diamond, and a row of fruit salad and yogurt along the back table. “Hey, Conner”, “Umm yogurt”, and “So Kevin” all in one sweep of the lunch room into an uncomfortable wooden bench alongside Kevin. He looks up briefly “Hey”. What had him so fixed with an art assignment? “So I take it you like art?”
Maybe he’s just not a people person because all I got from him in the entire free period was a “Hey yeah I guess, and bye” what a wonderful conversation.
Have you ever inhaled sunlight? Heavy and Hot. Then you’d probably never had a good kiss. That or inhaled an ounce of crank. I haven’t either for that matter. I haven’t kissed anyone worth being good. That or smoked crank, well not in a while. It’s been about two and a half years since that haze of smoke has clouded my mind. They take it away when you get locked up.
No I’m not in jail, jive, or prison. But it feels like it. I’m at the Greenstone Park Psychiatric Hospital. It’s a really piece of work here. And if you couldn’t tell if I have a little extra down there or not I’m a chick. I’ve been that way since July 31, 1994. Just to paint you a picture, in a really ugly frame. I’m 5’8, caramel skin, and ebony hair to my chest. Oh wait I forgot they made me cut it last week now it’s to my shoulders. They make you do a lot you don’t want to here. They all say “It helps us help you”. But who said I wanted help and meant it.
My case worker, a woman who really needed to get bent over and poked, said it to get a pay check. The jury said it because then I was a child. They didn’t know I had lost all innocents a long time ago. And the only thing I said through the entire ordeal was just let me die. Words that brought tears to all the eyes in the court room when they left the lips of a fourteen year olds mouth. So now I’m getting “help”.
But I didn’t know getting gang raped by nurses female and male, talking about things that grown men would cry trying to attempt to doctors probably as screwed as the patients, and sitting around people that make child predators seem normal was “help”. Then I laugh were all in the age range of 13-18 in this wing of the word. And aren’t we supposed to be the future? So either the past has screwed us over to the point of no return or the future has not chance. Laughing at the rest of the world who put us off to be “troubled”, they use harsher words, is the only time I truly laugh in here.
Here. You probably are wondering how the daughter of a marine and a "home maker" got in this type of place. You think post traumatic stress is hereditary? But just to make a long story short it goes like this. A fire was started in what use to be my home. My mother, father, sister, and dog died. Everyone thinks I should have too. But when you start the fire you have enough time to get out. I mean it’s not like I didn't call 911. And no one could prove I did anything. But when you tell an entire courtroom you did it nobody needs proof. They just funds for your stay at the crazy house.
****
So here I am just as lovely as ever in this attire they make us wear to tell us apart from the staff. It's not like we try to get out of this hell hole though. After the second week Greenstone Park becomes your new home. It grows on you just like sharing a meal with murders, rapist, and arsonist all under the age of 18 grows on you. Lol I know what you all are thinking and we are the sick ones. But you people are reading the thought of a wacko kid in an asylum and decide to pass judgment. Oh wait hold that thought here comes Conner, the third floor west wing nurse, with my meds.
Being on a combination of Aventyl HCI, Celex, Cymbalta, Desyrel and Clozapine makes me a little hard to comprehend.Yep that’s nurse “feel good”, Conner Nancy. Child nanny, first grade teacher, or something of that nature raped him when he was younger. Then tried to off himself when the school librarian broke up with him. He failed, got in here and stayed. This place has a school program and all that nice stuff funded by the state. Well swallow a couple in this color choke down the rest. Now it’s time to go to group therapy, yay. To hell I really want to sit in an all white room and talk about the same things.
But I guess I’m not going to be late. The door to my room opens and I fallow the colored tape along the floor. It goes green to classroom, yellow to bathroom, red to conference room, blue to chow hall and rec. rooms and white to rooms. Now I’m on my way to red 289, self awareness and thought. Since we all are in our high school years the atmosphere is such. Walking in the room with wooden benches, mats and bean bag chairs in a circle around the room. With sky blue walls and soft tan carpet, a couple pairs of eyes meet mine. They belong to my “class” or whatever. First is Delia.
You know how every school has a “well known” female, not because she’s smart but because of other things she can do with her head. That’s 5’4, caramel skin, c-cup, and always moving lips Delia. Doesn’t she sound nice? She’s in here for child prostitution. She liked the thrill of meeting new people. Then we have Bill and Will, no their not twins. But the funny thing is on likes to cut himself and the other likes to cut others. Don’t they make good friends? That’s a self explanatory joke. And as in all high schools we have the most popular and beautiful couple, Carrington and Blake Skiver.
As in both have the same last name and are brother and sister Skiver. Told you we all had issues in this hell hole. And then Eric, he’s probably what you would call a friend, sexy too. He’s 6’0, Blond shaggy hair, defined body, and a voice that could talk you into anything. Just too bad he redefined having OCD. You walk into his room in here, which he got changed thrice, and even breathe the wrong way well he doesn’t make messes. He didn’t even when he killed his mother for touching his…well we actually don’t know. He just put her into tiny plastic bins one day.
And last our teacher Mrs. Molly Sue Johnson. Would you like to get an easy A? She’s in here for well…having sex with all the students in her psychology classes, she taught 3 classes. I take the empty beanie next to Eric and notice Mrs. Sue has space next to her. Does this mean new person? Well on with class today’s discussion it’s why we do the things we do. I did what I did because I could, I wanted to, and because I thought it would be funny to watch all the pretty colors of the fire burn through my house. It was. The rest of the classes stories are relatively the same.
This person did this to me, I couldn’t take this, and it feels good when I do this. Blah blah blah. I was tired of the life I was living so I changed it. Guess we’re not getting a new person; class is over in two minutes. Time to fallow the blue tape, class lets out and guys on one side girls on the other. We can go get a healthy snack; surprisingly they can cook in this place, or chill in a room with the same sex and two guards for about an hour. I choose to flirt with the 5’9, cream skin, chocolate hair and braces dude behind the counter in the mess hall. Conner.
It’s fairly easy to get away with things in here, just bat your pretty black eyelashes at an impressionable nurse. And it’s like they want you to be a little whore with the cloths they give you. Girls are in yellow, pink, purple, or orange tight tees. Grey thigh lengths shorts, pants or knee lengths skirts. Guys are similar. Tees in white, blue, green, or black. And black basketball shorts or pants. Both genders wear white or black tennis shoes. So when I walk up to Conner in an almost see-through yellow shirt, grey shorts, black tennis shoes, and black lace around my wrists and neck.
With my hair in soft curls and light yellow eye shadow, you have to be mentally cleared for the extra stuff, he almost dropped the stack of plates he was holding. "H-Hey" Terra he sputters and I give him a coy smile. I coo “Hello Conner” and his face turns pink. “Got anything special for me?” He reaches under the counter and brings out a bowl of fruit salad. He said "I made this fresh for you this morning" as he passed it toward me. Now Conner is a very cute guy just lacks self confidence since I’ve known him. As I go to reach for the bowl I say “Care to share?” I already know he can’t they do have some rules in here, one being no patient staff relationships.
As if anyone would care everyone in here does it anyway. He says "You already know I can’t, but I’ll stop by your room later”. I act upset to get a reaction so I pout my lips and walk away. I know how to read him like a book before I even reach the empty oak picnic table in the back of the room, he was trailing behind me. I bend over to let him get a good look at how short my shorts actually are before sitting down. Once he takes the seat across from me I say “Thought you didn’t want to” twisting his words around as I say them.
He immediately catches on "Terra I said I couldn't"…cutting him off I ask “So what changed your mind?” In his sweetest voice he answered "Your eyes". The rest of the “snack time” went with me testing his testosterone and mental stability. I told Conner “See you later” when the bell chimed without leaving him a question on if he had to come to my room later. I passed the second group of people as they came in. And as I was walking through the door I heard Delia say "I didn’t know nurses could be so sexy".
That will be a conversation for later.
Everyone in here in every level knew that 1. I didn’t take any mess and 2. Don’t touch what’s mine. Now it’s time to fallow yellow then green tape. I go to the ladies bathroom then classes. They make you get credit to graduate at you grade level. Sitting next to Eric and Bill in English about to go out of my mind because one keeps asking me for a tissue I don’t have and the other for the paperclip holding my report together. Delia comes in about 40min late to class. Most people look at her others continue in their own little worlds. Mr. Larry, a short impatient man who doubles as a language teacher and probably the only teacher who wasn’t a patient her at one time or another, looks up over his wide framed brown glasses.
"Ms. Evan’s" he spoke after her as she headed for her seat in the back of the class. And as she took her seat she said "I’m sorry Mr. Larry, I was busy talking to a nurse", looking in my direction when the last word left his lips. He allowed this tardiness and went back to his lesson plains. Only two things ran through my mind reestablishing boundaries and keeping what’s mine. Nothing really happened the rest of the day. Just I contemplated ways to get back at Delia. After lunch and the rest of my classes I walk along the white lines all the way back to my room.
In every room theirs a twin sized bad, desk, lamp, bookshelf, clock, hamper and dresser. Depending on your psych evaluation you can get accessories, make-up, personalized deodorant shampoo etc., TV or laptop. I chose accessories and TV if I needed I could walk to the computer class. I walk in and immediately take off my cloths and throw them in the hamper. And as soon as I’m down to my black lace undies theirs a knock on my door. I check the clock I see it’s too early for dinner call and say “Who is it?” "M-me" the familiar voice sputters. “Come in” I say as I continue looking for something to wear for dinner. His eyes look me from bottom to top then in nervousness he asks "Would you like me to come back later?"
I plainly tell him to “Sit down and turn on the TV”. And he does as he is told. Then just to let him know I’m serious I come around to the side of the bed he’s sitting on and put my right knee on his left thigh. Run my hand up the side of his face and wrap my fingers in his chocolate hair. “Oh Conner…whatever shall we do” I coo. His face tells me that he’s aroused and confused. Leaning in so my chest is at his face, I clarify “What is going on between you and Delia?” Still the puzzled look on his face, I let go of his hair and got off of him. And as soon as I turned around he grabbed my waist and pulled me onto his lap.
"Delia" he paused “is nothing she could never care for me the way you do" then he let me go, stood up and finished "do for me what you do". I kissed his neck and asked “What should I wear for dinner?” It’s a tradition in here to dress up on Friday night’s dinner. He went to the bottom dour and pulled out a black knit dress and said "This seems nice, see you after dinner", kissed my forehead and left. Getting dressed I think about my life out of here everything I plan on doing and if Conner will still be part of my life. You’re probably wondering what is actually going on between him and I.
Truthfully I don’t know. He was the nicest person to me when I came here. And even though he’s about five years older I use him. He’s caring and kind but a gullible pushover. And he gives me what I want without question, but sometimes I care. Think how sweet he is to me and wonder. But now I’m just wondering what’s for dinner. It sells nice I think some sort of chicken and maybe noodles. I take a wooden seat and pull up to the matching table next to this quiet girl named Kylie.
She’s exactly what I need. Someone who doesn’t talk, keeps to herself, doesn’t speak unless spoken to and in here for cutting her boyfriend and the chick he was cheating on her into tiny pieces. I tap her blond hair covered shoulder. The turns to face me but doesn’t speak. “Kylie, what’s for dinner” I ask. She gets up and goes toward the counter. I think to myself okay then. Before Kylie gets back, with food for two, Eric whips the seat and table next to me and sits down. Not what I need but I decide to be nice “Hello Eric”. Kylie quietly repeats me as she passes me my plate.
As I’m finishing eating when I watch Delia as bounces in, wearing nothing by a tight white piece of cloth, and lean into the counter toward Conner. He quickly eyed me and she fallowed his gaze. Flipping her hair in my direction and continuing she started to talk to Conner. You could see in his face he was growing uneasy I just looked at him and laughed. When I was finished with my chicken pasta she was still up there. I tossed my plate and fork into the sink bin and felt they were both watching me.
She wanted a reaction I didn’t give her one. Delia is the type of person that got any type of dude she wanted. Conner is the type of person that only wanted what he needed. And I think about this all as I fallow the white taped road. I honestly don’t feel like doing anything. Just feel myself sinking into that familiar haze of life. Barely here and barely there I just let life go and skin further. Just then Conner comes in without a knock or even a word he picks me up and lays me on his chest.
It seems like the same side affect from psychotic med withdraw, life in an ocean of haze, at the same time. I find the energy to ask “Why are you in here?” He strokes my hair and tells me to "Be quiet". And goes on to say "There’s talk about you getting DX-ed in about a month, which means you be leaving soon. I just think about what all we could do when you are out. I just want to be with you". But the haze carried me away off into a place filled with a pure heart beat and a sweet voice before I can respond to him. I wake up to the sound of my alarm and look around my room.
I’m under my blanket and my pillow is where Conner was when I drifted off. Conner, I wonder when he finally left. The last thing I remember is "I love you". But that had to be a dream. How could anyone, especially someone who barely loves himself, love me? I grab my shower stuff and head toward the bathroom. As I walk in the shower stalls I coax it up to just my head filled with withdraw haze. I turn the water all the way up and let it steam. I check the rest of the shower stalls to make sure I’m alone. Then I untie my hair, step in, and the warm water runs down my body. I finally get a chance to exhale by myself, but only for a second.
There’s a limited time to be in the shower. But it was nice while it lasted. I step out and look at the mirror. Normal people see a reflection, see a familiar face. I see someone beautiful. Teddy gram skin, a few marks here and there acne sucks. Light ebony hair, soft and curly from my shower, eyes of liquid tented brown, with blurry vision thank you dad. Nice even curves here, dents where hips go there. And I see all these pretty things just not me. Just not a person who lives the type of life I live. I turn my head away and hold back a tear. I will be that person someday.
The clock on the wall chimes, letting me know its 7am, everyone is waking up now. I towel dry my body and get dressed in front of the mirror. Put on a pink shirt, grey pants and white shoes. Do my make-up, tie my bows which today are white, and put in my contacts. I check the clock to make sure I’m in my room before the 7:25 med. call and gather my things. And as the rest of the girls file in I walk out. The halls are awakening with buzz of what happen last night, nothing really.
Eager to see the beautiful face bring me a cup of things I “need” I hurry back to my room. I straighten everything up and check the clock, 7:22. It seems like time is moving so slow so I turn on the mind numbing TV to wait. My door opens and I jump up to my feet. Only it’s not the face I want to see, it’s Elizabeth. She graduated the year I came in; this place gives you an automatic job afterwards. But all in all she’s a pretty nice girl. I take my cup and ask about Conner. She tells me "Conner got an early start on breakfast and I took his medication shift". I fallowed her into the hallway as I swallowed my cup of “happiness”.
Mixed in with all the other levels, but still girls on one side males on the other, we head toward the chow hall. The wide room looks as it always does, long wooden table on either sides. Individual four seats down the middle and the food counter and sink opposite of when you walk in. Not really caring what I get, I go into the line which leads to the face I want to see. I was just standing by myself and twiddle dee and dumb join behind me. You know when people talk loudly because they want you to hear. "So Patricia how was your night, thought I heard someone moaning your name from the male bathroom" Delia said trying to catch my attention.
I was paying her no mind. The female known as Patricia laughed and playfully shoved Delia on her shoulder. She must have caught on to her game because she replied "Well my night wasn’t as eventful as yours, what was all the bumping on the walls. And I thought Conner was supposed to do night watch, but when I went into the hall he was nowhere to be found". Delia took a step closer and said "I will never tell" as they both started to laugh. Really she didn’t know Conner was in my room all night I just kept to myself and waited in line. A couple minutes later it was my turn.
Conner greeted me with a wide smile and a "Good morning beautiful. How did you sleep?" I just had to smile back; the thought of Delia’s face at his words amused me. I took a bowl of oatmeal and a juice box and before I walked away blew him a kiss. While I was walking back to the table, thoughts of last night kept popping up in my head. I was thinking a little more about love. Conner Nancy is…I don’t know what he is to me. When I got here I cried everyday and he stayed in my room with me, was the first person I talked to. And now he says he loves me. What if I love him? That’s too much to think about in too little time. Now I have to jump back in the day to day routine of life in here.
Time to jump into a beanie and sit in a class talking about emotions, feelings and crap I don’t really care about. Personally, if they just lock us up and keep us here when go through all the trouble of this type of stuff. And now I’m actually glad I went to class, we finally got that new person. He’s sitting next to Mrs. Sue and yeah you can tell. He’s leaning against the bench in all black when we walk in. His name is Kevin Onitsha. And about 5’6 pale, skin, with spiky jet black hair. Easy hazel eyes and a real nice voice, that’s when he did talk. Most of the class he kept quiet, just analyzing the room.
When classes let out and we dividedly went to where we wanted to go for “snack time” he chose to go to chow hall, but he sat in the back. Having nothing better to do other then wait for Conner to get there I went to sit with Kevin. As I pulled out the chair across from him he just looks at me. Partly in confusion and partly in shock he said nothing and I returned his gaze. “Hello” I said in a chipper voice. He gives me a once over, paying close attention to my pink shirt, and says “Hey”. So he’s Asian, nice body, and smooth voice. Yep Terra just made a new friend.
****
Back in my room I lie in my bed and contemplate the end of another meaningless week. I start to let myself drift into a feeling less place when there’s a soft rap on my door. I know who it is and that he’ll enter without a reply so I just lay there until I feel the shift on weight on the bed beside me. “Why did you stay here?” I ask without actually acknowledging his presents. He waits a moment partly hoping I’ll give him more a warmer hello then shifts closer to me before answering. I felt his smile against my check as he answered my question with another “Why leave paradise?”
I sigh and recite “Where tears fall heavy enough to break the wings of a butterfly Where the only smile is from an idiot to ignorant to understand why Where the anger you have pinned inside is too much to bear Where ugly words and evil gestures are the only things we share Where the worst politicians are made from the kind of hearts Where the best people are ruined from their very starts Where love can never be obtained because of no belief Where the only emotion felt is a seldom one of grief Where the sun is too disappointed to shine Where you and I are truly unkind Paradise”.
He rolls me on top of him “I love your poetry…but…do you really have to make times seem so grim?” Finally opening my eyes I offer a silent apology and give a soft kiss on his cheek. He starts to pull at my curls and says “My turn for a question”. I lay my head on his chest and prepare for the brief trip inside Conner’s head then whisper an “Okay”. “Why are you so against loving me?”
Well I wasn’t ready for that. Conner was a lot of things but blunt surely wasn’t one of them, where did his shift in self assurance come from. For once in my life I let the truth of my emotions come out “Because I’m so against getting my heart broken”. Now it was his turn to get thrown off kilter. It took him a moment to put together his thoughts and he gave a soft chuckle as he grabbed my hand and spoke again.
“Is that what you think I’ll do…” I could see he wanted to say more but couldn’t put together the right words. “Anything is possible in paradise” I said turning my head away not wanting this conversation so continue any further. He softly turned my head and looked into my eyes “I love you and you love me, I will protect you and honor you and you will only have to love me”. And with that I let the conversation drop he’d have to leave soon so I let myself drift away only concentrating on a strong steady beat. Everything felt right.
That is until I woke up in a cold bed, in a quiet room, and a pain in my head. I’m alone with a thousand thoughts all about one person. And after I shower get dressed and head back to my room, I get summoned over the PA system to Mrs. Davies office. My head is still whirling as I pull steal legs across linoleum and meet cold plastic with flesh. I’m truly not listening to the too thick woman looming over a tiny uncomfortable metal desk. But I do tune into certain things like I have to write an essay on how the Greenstone Park Psychiatric Hospital has helped me and do a final challenge in about a month to be DX.
Wonderful as if I think this place has helped me do anything more than teach me how to make an origami bird and further my hatred of the human race. But I say nothing as I thank her for the news and make my way to my room.Well apparently it won’t be my room for long, in two short months ill that the wilderness challenge and get DX’ed. The people in charge seem to think if you can rough it 30 miles away from civilization for a week you are ready for the world. Right, stick a group of teenage psychos and two hyperactive nature enthusiasts together for one week and don’t expect someone to take a long walk on a short cliff.
But enough self ranting, it’s bad for completion. And so is skipping breakfast thank you Mrs. Davies! Now I’m angry, hungry, and late to “Outward Expression and Focus” (Art class). As I trudge into class Mr. Kemp has already began explaining what to do with the ruler, construction paper, and pencil on each table. It was pretty simple we were making diamonds by graphing lines and crossing them. Connect the dots. By the end of the hour I had made 8 diamond all of different color combinations. I hope the rest of the day went this easy and brainless.
A couple periods later and it’s my favorite past time, even though I think I was more eager for food then Conner. When I walk through the open double doors I take notice of several things. Conner behind the counter informing a new face in staff cloths on how to run things back there, Kevin sitting alone toying with a green and black diamond, and a row of fruit salad and yogurt along the back table. “Hey, Conner”, “Umm yogurt”, and “So Kevin” all in one sweep of the lunch room into an uncomfortable wooden bench alongside Kevin. He looks up briefly “Hey”. What had him so fixed with an art assignment? “So I take it you like art?”
Maybe he’s just not a people person because all I got from him in the entire free period was a “Hey yeah I guess, and bye” what a wonderful conversation.
Pink Lace
The wind blew her into my life just as the dancing leaves in front of me. I was sloshing around the corridor and everyone was talking away. The conversations varied by person. The news was all boy school, West Preparatory Academy, would be integrating. The three new girls, of the only parents who agreed to arrive first, were promised to be here at noon. Two days before the televised event was to take place. The information was tacked on a board in front of the office and stirring up quite a storm.
The entire campus, including staff, was now divided ozone. Those who said it would change the very soil of West Prep. and the people who encouraged a seasoned change. I myself have decided to be the middle void until they arrive in about an hour. As I passed the front gates on my usual rounds to class, I noticed protests have already formed. Passing people yelling and holding sighs I’m captivated. I thought the females would start a nice balance here, oh well. Under a rain of self thought I bumped into another student.
His supplies went all over the hall as we collided. I handed him his psychology book that landed near me and noticed his jacket. He was in my trigonometry class and wore the same red blazer almost every day, Alex Davison. I gave him his belongings and was on my way, we are not too confrontational here. I arrive late to English and seem I didn’t miss much. As it has been since the note went up, class was debating our new residents. Where they would stay, wash, their dress code and all the anti-female hail they could fling on our teacher.
And as always, Mr.Wideman kept an open mind on the matter. I figure my way through the group of angered males. Then I take an empty seat toward the back of the class, prop my feet on the desk, and close my eyes. I hear the chair next to me scrape across the floor and I open my left eye. I see the grey bag of a person go on the floor, apparently I’m not the only one uninterested in the school happenings. If I had the effort or want to see other then the distinct bag I would. See how maybe I’m not the only one with a brain here.
The two hours fly by and I try to keep my distance from the main office. Once I feel that the commotion has watered down I go to Magee Hall. The roof of the building has the best view of campus. I stepped through the door and went up the flight of stairs to the roof. But what I saw was much more then the beauty of campus. The close of the door behind me must have caught her attention. She jumped and turned in my direction.
I saw a lot of things just then. I saw the new girl in school only a couple feet away from my on this small roof top. I saw sunkist blond flowing hair on cream skin that matched my own. I saw a prim all white attire put together to perfection with a light pink lace around her wrist. From the sacredness of a child to the long of an escape in her eyes, my uncertain reflection and a portrait of sky blue, I just didn’t see the point of her. I didn’t see how this tiny rain of femininity could bring a blizzard of hatred and unwelcoming movement. It seemed to be a fantasy in this reality setting.
It was apparent she wasn’t capable of speaking just then so I said the first word. I passed a “Hello” her way as I laid my bag against the railing and heard a shrill “Hi”. I watched the sunlight dance in her eyes as they never left my direction. I lean my back on the bottom brick part of the railing as I sit down. “Do you have a name?” I ask and avert my eyes. It must have taken her by surprise that I didn’t yell scream or talk down to her, she did a double blink and said “Edina Mackenzie” and started to blush.
I heard the campus bell ring it was 3:30pm and school was over I grabbed my bag and headed toward the door. When I was halfway to the door she found the courage to ask of mine and as I slipped through the door I said “Renard”. About 20 minutes later I drag myself through the lounge and it’s the same vibe it has been for about a month. I notice a familiar red blazer hanging off the back of a wooden chair pulled up to the middle table.
I gave Alex another apology for our incident in the hall earlier and he waves it off. Then a grey bag drops on the floor across from me and I see his face. It’s Jerald Black, so he’s the one with a brain. It seems the two are friends and start a discussion about our new classmates. But unlike most are snowballing ideas of ways to make the girls fit in. I casually add my ideas but the only thing I could think of is two pools of sky blue.
—E. Mackenzie--
Today is my first day at high school. Well I guess that’s only partly true I’m a sophomore but this will be my first day at West Preparatory Academy. I and two other girls are to be on campus around noon even though other females and the media won’t be there to cover the story for another two days. The dean wanted to spread the arrivals in hopes that’s the emotions will water down. It’s a big ordeal because West Prep. has been an all boy school since it was open. I put on the clothing I set out last night, tie a pink ribbon around my wrist, and get in a car heading toward my new life.
The campus is as beautiful as I have seen in pictures and tours from when my brother went here. Surrounded by royal gates and ¾ lush forest, you drive up a long winded drive way. As you approach you see several larger towering buildings. You drive into the parking lot of a building named after Homer Odyssey which is the main building. It’s where you take care of your general needs. The only thing I didn’t expect was the crowds of angry males so against my arrival. As I walk through the main doors a swarm of students and concerned parents start yelling at me.
Then two guards start backing the people away and a secretary guides my into the dean’s office. It seems I’m the last to arrive today the other two girls are sitting and there’s an empty chair between them. I listen to and orientation type speech where he goes over were we will sleep and bath, in an newly built building, what we will wear, dress code bi-laws similar to the males, and general campus policies, where to go and when to be back. And then were whisked away by the secretary again. She gives each of us a map of campus and a quick tour before leaving us in the center of the campus.
The other two girls and I have a quick chat and I get the just of that type of people they are. Jessica Johnson, a very pretty girl with rich dark skin, high cheek bones, and soft ebony curls pined into a mohawk with a silver headband pushing it up. She was dressed in a white elbow sleeve blouse and black shorts with black dancer’s flats with a grey bag over her shoulder and a think grey bangle on her left wrist was seemingly pleasant to be around. Then there was Karmen Rucker, she had almond eyes, porcelain skin, and long braid of natural black and bleach sandy hair intertwined. She had a red cardigan and khaki cargo pants with red Chuck Taylors and big brown purse hung on her arm, she might be a little out there with the males.
After making plains to catch up later we separate to explore on our own. I walk to Magee Hall it was the place my brother and I spent afternoons when I came to visit, it had the best view of the entire campus. I just sat there and though about how excited he was when I told him I would be attending his old school and how he bought her anything she wanted for her room. The click of the door closing behind her grabbed her out of her memory. He was astonishing. Cream skin and honey brown hair that hung in front of his eyes which were a warm almond color that caught her breath. With a black polo that clung to his muscles and black pants and tennis shoes the only color to his attire was his white watch and backpack.
I couldn’t help but stair at the handsome male in front of me. He gave me a “Hello” as he went to ay his bag against the railing of the roof. My voice broke as I tried to return a “Hi”. I watch him all the while he sits down against the railing beside his bag. Then he asks if I had a name as he looks away. I wonder if I did something wrong as I think of my name. “Edina Mackenzie” I say and feel blood pool under my checks. The bell started to ring and he stood up and started to collect his belongings. As he was half way to the door I blurt out “Do you have a name?” and as he slips through the door he says “Renard”.
20 minutes later I’m still thinking of those warm almond eyes, Renard. But what was his last name maybe he was just being polite but really wanted to get away. How could I blame him, I had turned into a mindless wimp when I turned around. And now I was rattling my brain as Jessica and Karmen found me by the water fountain. They noticed I was in my own world as we walked to the chow hall and they discussed encounters with other students.
—R. Woodard--
Alex, Jerald, and I pick up our stuff and start the walk to the chow hall. It wasn’t a very long walk but it seemed to drag on forever. “Renard, Renard” Alex was try to get my attention which was on her. “Yeah” I say as I look in his direction. Giving a playful shove on my shoulder he says “What’s holding your mind ransom?” I laugh has it been that obvious that the Edina girl was still on my mind. I shove him back and say “A new girl” The two walking with me busted into laughter. They see the puzzled expression on my face and they just shake their heads. As we walk into the room we see three different zones.
To the immediate left the people who wanted to be as far away far the females as possible, in the middle people who didn’t seem to care one way or another, and to the right were a group of people surrounding a table, I guess the girls are here to. We decided to get whatever their serving and sit in the middle it seem to be the most calm environment. Even though it had seemed I was just casually glancing in their direction, I was searching for her. I just want to see her beautiful face again. Jerald was laughing with Alex at what I stated earlier on our walk. Jerald, looking in their direction, asked “Which one is she?” I poked at my salad and plainly said “The one in all white”. Alex laughingly asked “The one coming this way?” and my head shot up in surprise.
Was Edina actually walking over to me? No. She passed the table and went to the counter to grab a bottle of water. I don’t know why but I was actually upset when she walked pass and on her return she gave me a coy smile. “Awe Alex, you got Renard’s hopes up” Jerald was mocking my mood. I blew a huff of air and continued to eat my salad dinner was over in a little while and then I could think of her in peace. Why was she so glued to my mind? There wasn’t really anything special about her. Yes she was pretty but I didn’t even know her more than her name. As I went to put my tray on the counter I watched her say her good-byes and walk out. I just had to follow her.
—E. Mackenzie--
Lunch today was very entertaining; nothing like I’d expected it to be. By the end the lunch there was three different parts of the room. And Renard was in the middle, undecided. Thinking back to the look on his face when I kept walking past his table, it was as if he wanted me to stop. And do what? On the roof I thought it was obvious he wasn’t into me. Now I don’t know, he walked in without saying anything so why can’t I walk past. “Edina” a voice of sweet perfection called behind me that made me stop dead in my tracks. I slowly turned around as saw those warm almond eyes.
I thought it was a day dream, I thought it was my imagination; I thought it was anything but real. He came about three steps away from me and looking into my eyes. Just as earlier I was at a loss for words. “I saw you leaving the lunch room and…” he trailed off. I asked “And what?” as I gave a weak smile. He took a half step closer and said “Wondered if you want to talk”. I start to back up and say “Let’s take a walk”. He caught up to me and I couldn’t think of where my new found flirtatiousness and confidence was coming from. We started to walk toward the center of the campus. I turn my head to the left and say “Let’s talk”. His turn to be uncertain, in his eyes I could see he was trying to figure me out.
__________
—E. Mackenzie--
That seems to be such a different life time ago. The first months of school went as I thought they would. Full of hatred and yelling and people who didn’t like me; because they didn’t know me. And now I’m back at where it all started the roof of Magee Hall. Only this time I’m on the other side of the metal railing and oh does the world seem to have disappeared. I believe I can’t to this decision about an hour ago, just didn’t feel the need to do this anymore. I’m not even working toward what makes me happy. I’m working towards what society says will give me the “happiest” life. Well I wonder how society will take this.
—R. Woodard--
Dear Renard K. Woodard,
My love, my sweetest bliss, this is good-bye. This is my resignation from life, not you. I wish to hold onto you in the afterlife but I must let you go now. I must let this heartbroken world go now. I have to be rid of guilt, condemnation, and regret. Please don’t see this as a breakup because I’ll be taking your love with me beyond. See this as my release.
Edina
E.
That is what I came home to. A had written tear stricken note under my door. And now I’m running, now I’m pushing myself not to be too late. I can’t let her go I refuse to. She is my everything. That night after chow she opened up to me and I let her in. I let her become a part of me. And she is supposed to be forever. As I climb to stairs of Magee Hall I pray, something I seldom do. Something I haven’t done since I was 9. And I say a word as each foot hits the remaining 9 stairs.
I saw a lot of things just then. I saw the new girl in school only a couple feet away from me on this small roof top. I saw sunkist blond flowing hair on cream skin that matched my own. I saw a prim all white attire put together to perfection with a light pink lace around her wrist, waving good-bye to me as she fell to heaven from the metal guard. “Good-bye my love, Edina Mackenzie”.
The entire campus, including staff, was now divided ozone. Those who said it would change the very soil of West Prep. and the people who encouraged a seasoned change. I myself have decided to be the middle void until they arrive in about an hour. As I passed the front gates on my usual rounds to class, I noticed protests have already formed. Passing people yelling and holding sighs I’m captivated. I thought the females would start a nice balance here, oh well. Under a rain of self thought I bumped into another student.
His supplies went all over the hall as we collided. I handed him his psychology book that landed near me and noticed his jacket. He was in my trigonometry class and wore the same red blazer almost every day, Alex Davison. I gave him his belongings and was on my way, we are not too confrontational here. I arrive late to English and seem I didn’t miss much. As it has been since the note went up, class was debating our new residents. Where they would stay, wash, their dress code and all the anti-female hail they could fling on our teacher.
And as always, Mr.Wideman kept an open mind on the matter. I figure my way through the group of angered males. Then I take an empty seat toward the back of the class, prop my feet on the desk, and close my eyes. I hear the chair next to me scrape across the floor and I open my left eye. I see the grey bag of a person go on the floor, apparently I’m not the only one uninterested in the school happenings. If I had the effort or want to see other then the distinct bag I would. See how maybe I’m not the only one with a brain here.
The two hours fly by and I try to keep my distance from the main office. Once I feel that the commotion has watered down I go to Magee Hall. The roof of the building has the best view of campus. I stepped through the door and went up the flight of stairs to the roof. But what I saw was much more then the beauty of campus. The close of the door behind me must have caught her attention. She jumped and turned in my direction.
I saw a lot of things just then. I saw the new girl in school only a couple feet away from my on this small roof top. I saw sunkist blond flowing hair on cream skin that matched my own. I saw a prim all white attire put together to perfection with a light pink lace around her wrist. From the sacredness of a child to the long of an escape in her eyes, my uncertain reflection and a portrait of sky blue, I just didn’t see the point of her. I didn’t see how this tiny rain of femininity could bring a blizzard of hatred and unwelcoming movement. It seemed to be a fantasy in this reality setting.
It was apparent she wasn’t capable of speaking just then so I said the first word. I passed a “Hello” her way as I laid my bag against the railing and heard a shrill “Hi”. I watched the sunlight dance in her eyes as they never left my direction. I lean my back on the bottom brick part of the railing as I sit down. “Do you have a name?” I ask and avert my eyes. It must have taken her by surprise that I didn’t yell scream or talk down to her, she did a double blink and said “Edina Mackenzie” and started to blush.
I heard the campus bell ring it was 3:30pm and school was over I grabbed my bag and headed toward the door. When I was halfway to the door she found the courage to ask of mine and as I slipped through the door I said “Renard”. About 20 minutes later I drag myself through the lounge and it’s the same vibe it has been for about a month. I notice a familiar red blazer hanging off the back of a wooden chair pulled up to the middle table.
I gave Alex another apology for our incident in the hall earlier and he waves it off. Then a grey bag drops on the floor across from me and I see his face. It’s Jerald Black, so he’s the one with a brain. It seems the two are friends and start a discussion about our new classmates. But unlike most are snowballing ideas of ways to make the girls fit in. I casually add my ideas but the only thing I could think of is two pools of sky blue.
—E. Mackenzie--
Today is my first day at high school. Well I guess that’s only partly true I’m a sophomore but this will be my first day at West Preparatory Academy. I and two other girls are to be on campus around noon even though other females and the media won’t be there to cover the story for another two days. The dean wanted to spread the arrivals in hopes that’s the emotions will water down. It’s a big ordeal because West Prep. has been an all boy school since it was open. I put on the clothing I set out last night, tie a pink ribbon around my wrist, and get in a car heading toward my new life.
The campus is as beautiful as I have seen in pictures and tours from when my brother went here. Surrounded by royal gates and ¾ lush forest, you drive up a long winded drive way. As you approach you see several larger towering buildings. You drive into the parking lot of a building named after Homer Odyssey which is the main building. It’s where you take care of your general needs. The only thing I didn’t expect was the crowds of angry males so against my arrival. As I walk through the main doors a swarm of students and concerned parents start yelling at me.
Then two guards start backing the people away and a secretary guides my into the dean’s office. It seems I’m the last to arrive today the other two girls are sitting and there’s an empty chair between them. I listen to and orientation type speech where he goes over were we will sleep and bath, in an newly built building, what we will wear, dress code bi-laws similar to the males, and general campus policies, where to go and when to be back. And then were whisked away by the secretary again. She gives each of us a map of campus and a quick tour before leaving us in the center of the campus.
The other two girls and I have a quick chat and I get the just of that type of people they are. Jessica Johnson, a very pretty girl with rich dark skin, high cheek bones, and soft ebony curls pined into a mohawk with a silver headband pushing it up. She was dressed in a white elbow sleeve blouse and black shorts with black dancer’s flats with a grey bag over her shoulder and a think grey bangle on her left wrist was seemingly pleasant to be around. Then there was Karmen Rucker, she had almond eyes, porcelain skin, and long braid of natural black and bleach sandy hair intertwined. She had a red cardigan and khaki cargo pants with red Chuck Taylors and big brown purse hung on her arm, she might be a little out there with the males.
After making plains to catch up later we separate to explore on our own. I walk to Magee Hall it was the place my brother and I spent afternoons when I came to visit, it had the best view of the entire campus. I just sat there and though about how excited he was when I told him I would be attending his old school and how he bought her anything she wanted for her room. The click of the door closing behind her grabbed her out of her memory. He was astonishing. Cream skin and honey brown hair that hung in front of his eyes which were a warm almond color that caught her breath. With a black polo that clung to his muscles and black pants and tennis shoes the only color to his attire was his white watch and backpack.
I couldn’t help but stair at the handsome male in front of me. He gave me a “Hello” as he went to ay his bag against the railing of the roof. My voice broke as I tried to return a “Hi”. I watch him all the while he sits down against the railing beside his bag. Then he asks if I had a name as he looks away. I wonder if I did something wrong as I think of my name. “Edina Mackenzie” I say and feel blood pool under my checks. The bell started to ring and he stood up and started to collect his belongings. As he was half way to the door I blurt out “Do you have a name?” and as he slips through the door he says “Renard”.
20 minutes later I’m still thinking of those warm almond eyes, Renard. But what was his last name maybe he was just being polite but really wanted to get away. How could I blame him, I had turned into a mindless wimp when I turned around. And now I was rattling my brain as Jessica and Karmen found me by the water fountain. They noticed I was in my own world as we walked to the chow hall and they discussed encounters with other students.
—R. Woodard--
Alex, Jerald, and I pick up our stuff and start the walk to the chow hall. It wasn’t a very long walk but it seemed to drag on forever. “Renard, Renard” Alex was try to get my attention which was on her. “Yeah” I say as I look in his direction. Giving a playful shove on my shoulder he says “What’s holding your mind ransom?” I laugh has it been that obvious that the Edina girl was still on my mind. I shove him back and say “A new girl” The two walking with me busted into laughter. They see the puzzled expression on my face and they just shake their heads. As we walk into the room we see three different zones.
To the immediate left the people who wanted to be as far away far the females as possible, in the middle people who didn’t seem to care one way or another, and to the right were a group of people surrounding a table, I guess the girls are here to. We decided to get whatever their serving and sit in the middle it seem to be the most calm environment. Even though it had seemed I was just casually glancing in their direction, I was searching for her. I just want to see her beautiful face again. Jerald was laughing with Alex at what I stated earlier on our walk. Jerald, looking in their direction, asked “Which one is she?” I poked at my salad and plainly said “The one in all white”. Alex laughingly asked “The one coming this way?” and my head shot up in surprise.
Was Edina actually walking over to me? No. She passed the table and went to the counter to grab a bottle of water. I don’t know why but I was actually upset when she walked pass and on her return she gave me a coy smile. “Awe Alex, you got Renard’s hopes up” Jerald was mocking my mood. I blew a huff of air and continued to eat my salad dinner was over in a little while and then I could think of her in peace. Why was she so glued to my mind? There wasn’t really anything special about her. Yes she was pretty but I didn’t even know her more than her name. As I went to put my tray on the counter I watched her say her good-byes and walk out. I just had to follow her.
—E. Mackenzie--
Lunch today was very entertaining; nothing like I’d expected it to be. By the end the lunch there was three different parts of the room. And Renard was in the middle, undecided. Thinking back to the look on his face when I kept walking past his table, it was as if he wanted me to stop. And do what? On the roof I thought it was obvious he wasn’t into me. Now I don’t know, he walked in without saying anything so why can’t I walk past. “Edina” a voice of sweet perfection called behind me that made me stop dead in my tracks. I slowly turned around as saw those warm almond eyes.
I thought it was a day dream, I thought it was my imagination; I thought it was anything but real. He came about three steps away from me and looking into my eyes. Just as earlier I was at a loss for words. “I saw you leaving the lunch room and…” he trailed off. I asked “And what?” as I gave a weak smile. He took a half step closer and said “Wondered if you want to talk”. I start to back up and say “Let’s take a walk”. He caught up to me and I couldn’t think of where my new found flirtatiousness and confidence was coming from. We started to walk toward the center of the campus. I turn my head to the left and say “Let’s talk”. His turn to be uncertain, in his eyes I could see he was trying to figure me out.
__________
—E. Mackenzie--
That seems to be such a different life time ago. The first months of school went as I thought they would. Full of hatred and yelling and people who didn’t like me; because they didn’t know me. And now I’m back at where it all started the roof of Magee Hall. Only this time I’m on the other side of the metal railing and oh does the world seem to have disappeared. I believe I can’t to this decision about an hour ago, just didn’t feel the need to do this anymore. I’m not even working toward what makes me happy. I’m working towards what society says will give me the “happiest” life. Well I wonder how society will take this.
—R. Woodard--
Dear Renard K. Woodard,
My love, my sweetest bliss, this is good-bye. This is my resignation from life, not you. I wish to hold onto you in the afterlife but I must let you go now. I must let this heartbroken world go now. I have to be rid of guilt, condemnation, and regret. Please don’t see this as a breakup because I’ll be taking your love with me beyond. See this as my release.
Edina
E.
That is what I came home to. A had written tear stricken note under my door. And now I’m running, now I’m pushing myself not to be too late. I can’t let her go I refuse to. She is my everything. That night after chow she opened up to me and I let her in. I let her become a part of me. And she is supposed to be forever. As I climb to stairs of Magee Hall I pray, something I seldom do. Something I haven’t done since I was 9. And I say a word as each foot hits the remaining 9 stairs.
I saw a lot of things just then. I saw the new girl in school only a couple feet away from me on this small roof top. I saw sunkist blond flowing hair on cream skin that matched my own. I saw a prim all white attire put together to perfection with a light pink lace around her wrist, waving good-bye to me as she fell to heaven from the metal guard. “Good-bye my love, Edina Mackenzie”.
And Then The Darkness...
A vampire tale in the works.
“The sun goes down the stars come out and all that counts is here and now” Her singing could be heard through the entire house even though she barley sung above a whisper. But all the beings in the house had heightened senses, all beings except one.
****
Blood pounded through the veins in his body as he fell to his knees. A cold small hand pinned him down to stop his thrashing. His body was numb one second then the next he felt the weight of the world on his chest. As he struggled to retain air his entire world went black. It wasn’t a comfortable darkness he was in. He could still feel everything going on around him and the black seemed too close.
He wasn’t sure how long he was in that state. His vision was gone and his throat felt as if it was clamped on its self. But when he blinked again he tried to focus on the faces around him. One face caught his attention immediately. She batted her eyes like a virgin, which were the color of topaz. Her dark chocolate hair framed a heart shaped face cream and olive. Movement to his right changed his thought pattern to the rest of the crowd. There were three of them including her. Another female with soft red curls and sea foam green eyes that slightly clung to a male. He was tall and well built. Though, he seemed to almost grace across the ground toward him.
“I am pleased to see you’ve survived Nickolas Aaron Verdure”. He gurgled, an attempt to communicate with the mass stranger looming over him. “No don’t speak, you full strength is not yet upon you” and with that the stranger handed over a goblet of liquid that sang to him. His entire body wanted to plunge its self into that little volume. Wondering what was the coppery undertone as he drank the thick warm liquid that cooled the burn in his body. When he finished he had new found clarity. And he noticed the intrigued look of the people around him.
Only something was different, something was off about them, even her. They were too pale as if they had never seen sunlight. And they didn’t breath, but neither did he for that manor. He sprang to his feet at that revelation in all to shocking quickness. The worlds focus grew too sharp and the clang of the goblet hitting the floor made him wince. “Young one” the red head attempted to get his attention. Her tone was motherly and cool. “I am Monica Elise Revenant and this” she motioned to the others “Is my family. We have taken you into our coven after your accident”.
That’s when it came back to him, he killed himself. Well that’s the last thing he remember he had tied the lynch and kicked the chair away. Then there was lightness, pain, darkness, and then this. These beings have taken him. “Where am I, what have you done to me?” he found his voice. The man patted the woman who never left his sides hand as said “All in good time”. Then they were retreating out the room leaving just her behind. “What is this place?” he noted more to himself then to her but she answered. “When are in the Italian alcoves, a pace in the hills, a memory of times past to those once lived”.
She sat on the floor where she was standing half a second ago and continued. “I am Victoria Bernadette and I reside here with Monica and Jules Revenant”. As she spoke he noticed the room in which they were in. It was the ruminants of a ball room. Rich dark wooden floor and windowed walls with gold curtains, toppled over goblet, and two beings were the only occupants of the room. “My family has also taken you in Nickolas Verdure upon request” with the last words something flared in her eyes. “Upon request of whom?” he asked becoming uneasy with the conversation. “Me”.
The situation was throwing him off he was dead “I’m dead”. He voiced his concern. As she got off the floor and within touching distance she spoke “You are among the undead now”.With the shyness of a whore the touched the base of his neck the feeling was cooling and stung. Her fingers traced two puncture wounds as she said “You now control life, death and everything in-between my vampire”. The term vampire left her mouth with such endearment he felt compelled to kiss her.
“I’m now a vampire?” he asked not entirely shocked. In 1934 it wasn’t too uncommon one turning up undead. He just never thought a thing like this would happen to him. “You are now my vampire; you were changed to be my mate”. That wasn’t such a letdown he thought, she was beautiful in an unperfected way. “Oh” he let slip through his lips in realization. “Come” she said taking his hand in hers and trailed in toward the exit of the room.
Passing room through on Victoria’s grand tour held little of his attention and proved a bigger question. As they came upon the door in which Victoria said was their quarters he stopped, halting her also. “Why Me?” the question was partly for his self esteem and partly for understanding. She cocked her head to the side as if for understand his question and came to a resolution “I wanted you”. He gathered that the question was lost and motioned for her to continue the tour.
As she pushed through the two great oak doors the image of their room astonished him. She finally let him go and child like jumped on the bed. The image of ruffled hair lying on the bed he’d share with him and the glow of a thousand candles places strategically around the room made something inside of him stir. As if sensing this within him she slightly let herself sink more into the mattress. As she moved her grey thigh length skirt revealed more, her black silk button up propped slightly to the side, and her black heels eased themselves off.
Why was this goddess of the night his by an offer he couldn’t refuse? With speed and grace Nickolas was unaware he possessed he made his way to her side. He lightly smoothed his hand over her chocolate spill on the pillows. Then his fingers found their way to her face and eventually to her collar bone. She slightly panted as she said “You need to feed”. “What?” he asked too caught in the events folding out in front of him. She put her wrist to her mouth and winced.
An aged copper smell filled his nostrils and plunged his mouth to her offered wrist. It was better than the first time he mused. The stern tug of his hair made him stop and he gazed down at Victoria. She looked spent.
****
“Madame Verdure, you look absolutely breathtaking” a human servant said to the sole airs of the night. She was being secured in to one of her mothers favorites, given the occasion. “Yes, Madame Marisol” the other servant dressing her chimed in. They dressed her in a floor length off white ball gown with soft pink trimming. She sat in a backless chair and they began work. As her hair was pulled, twisted, and pinned this way and that, she contemplated her after life. How and who she was. The lovely daughter of Nickolas and Victoria Verdure, princess of hunger and lust, or a child forced to grow up too fast.
She was created on July 31, 1990 when she was just of 18. It happen as quick as a blink, all she remembers is waking up in a daze hungry for life. She was taught, fed, and given everything she ever wanted by her now parents. They truly did love her and she being a child accepted and retuned their love. But after 22 years of being 18 she brought to her parents attention she needed something new, companionship of one her own age. And always Marisol Isabella Verdure got as she wished. As the final string of pearls was tinned into her intricate bun she sat there looking at herself.
“Marisol” the warm voice of her father called from the doorway. She was always to connect better with him, he stilled remembered what life was like. But still she adored he mothers grace, beauty, and education. Her mother was her best friend. As she turned to face the regal beginnings in the door she knew it was time. With one last glance at the mirror she stood. They each took one of her hands and made way to the ball room.
Victoria gave her a quick peck on the cheek and moved forward holding her husband’s hand. As they made way down the stairs, a guard announced their presence to the guests below. It was now Marisol’s time, she had asked for it. She was ready for it. She straightened her back and took it one step at a time. She eyes of a hundred undead and several living met hers. She swept the crowd for familiar faces she entered her coming out party. By the suns rising she would be a woman. She noted her parents, her Uncle Jules and Auntie Monica, and the other royals of the land seated toward the back of the room.
This was her night and they all honored that. As her feet softly landed on the ballroom floor, a vampire who looked as young as her kneeled in front of her. She addressed his presence with a curtsy and he stood. She watched as his almond eyes swept over her and how his boyish smile set something a blaze inside her. He adjusted his Calvary uniform’s jacket and took her hand to lead her to the dance floor. The orchestra began to play and her guests started to dance.
Marisol was awe stricken by the high-end fabric, jewels, and assortments around her. Everyone seemed so willing to impress her. The unnecessary exhale of breath on her neck surprised her. “Madame” the once solider of the land called to her as he spun her around in a slow turn. “Yes my kind sir” she kindly replied. “I’m Sir William Eric Maxwell of the Roman Calvary”. She studied his featured from the slightly outgrown hair cut to the way he look at her as if awaiting approval.
“It is my honor to meet you Sir Maxwell” “Please” he interjected “Call me William”. She gave him a half hearted smile and replied “Call me Marisol” as the song ended they stood there a moment. Once they finally gathered there wits he bowed and kissed her hand. The gesture, although respectful and distant, sent chills of excitement through her body. He seemed to sense this and slightly lingered. The night continued with a sootier knelling before her, a dance, and the feeling that it wasn’t better then the first.
________________________________________________________________
“Nickolas honey” Victoria motioned toward her husband as they watch over their daughter. “Yes my lovely” “Do you see what I see?” “That our daughter has taken to a sootier”. They gave each a knowing look filled with romance and remembrance. “Sister of mine” Jules called from a seat over. Breaking her wordless conversation with her husband she turned toward her brother. The being that shares a creator with her and answered, “Yes”.
“The niece of mine is exchanging glances with the apprentice of mine”. She understood where the reference in his words lay “So it seems she is”. Jules bellowed a laugh that caught the attention of a few guests and followed with “Must all the women of this house take my good men?” The sarcastic question was a reminder of how Victoria and Nickolas met. Nickolas was a general in the Calvary hired to protect the Revenant estate at a point and time.
________________________________________________________________
By the end of the night she had dismissed over two dozen of the finest men of the undead land. But one still held her attention. As she watched the men in uniform gather near the double glass door that lead to the orchard on in particular had her gather a quickened pace. “Sir William” Marisol greeted the being with his back to her. “Yes my lady” he said turning toward her. She unconsciously batted her eyes and gave him an uncertain look.
“Would you like to accompany me to the Russian ballet in two suns passing?”Her nervousness astounded him more than her approach, how could the daughter this land find speaking to a common solder nerve racking? It dawned on him she was awaiting a reply as he watched her eye lashed kiss her cheeks. “It would do me a great honor escort you” he said with a gentleman’s bow. Then he departed with the rest of his company.
****
Marisol was in white silk two pieces sleeping set standing on her balcony when her mother entered. She noticed but didn’t advance her presence, thoughts of a night ago held her attention.
“The sun goes down the stars come out and all that counts is here and now” Her singing could be heard through the entire house even though she barley sung above a whisper. But all the beings in the house had heightened senses, all beings except one.
****
Blood pounded through the veins in his body as he fell to his knees. A cold small hand pinned him down to stop his thrashing. His body was numb one second then the next he felt the weight of the world on his chest. As he struggled to retain air his entire world went black. It wasn’t a comfortable darkness he was in. He could still feel everything going on around him and the black seemed too close.
He wasn’t sure how long he was in that state. His vision was gone and his throat felt as if it was clamped on its self. But when he blinked again he tried to focus on the faces around him. One face caught his attention immediately. She batted her eyes like a virgin, which were the color of topaz. Her dark chocolate hair framed a heart shaped face cream and olive. Movement to his right changed his thought pattern to the rest of the crowd. There were three of them including her. Another female with soft red curls and sea foam green eyes that slightly clung to a male. He was tall and well built. Though, he seemed to almost grace across the ground toward him.
“I am pleased to see you’ve survived Nickolas Aaron Verdure”. He gurgled, an attempt to communicate with the mass stranger looming over him. “No don’t speak, you full strength is not yet upon you” and with that the stranger handed over a goblet of liquid that sang to him. His entire body wanted to plunge its self into that little volume. Wondering what was the coppery undertone as he drank the thick warm liquid that cooled the burn in his body. When he finished he had new found clarity. And he noticed the intrigued look of the people around him.
Only something was different, something was off about them, even her. They were too pale as if they had never seen sunlight. And they didn’t breath, but neither did he for that manor. He sprang to his feet at that revelation in all to shocking quickness. The worlds focus grew too sharp and the clang of the goblet hitting the floor made him wince. “Young one” the red head attempted to get his attention. Her tone was motherly and cool. “I am Monica Elise Revenant and this” she motioned to the others “Is my family. We have taken you into our coven after your accident”.
That’s when it came back to him, he killed himself. Well that’s the last thing he remember he had tied the lynch and kicked the chair away. Then there was lightness, pain, darkness, and then this. These beings have taken him. “Where am I, what have you done to me?” he found his voice. The man patted the woman who never left his sides hand as said “All in good time”. Then they were retreating out the room leaving just her behind. “What is this place?” he noted more to himself then to her but she answered. “When are in the Italian alcoves, a pace in the hills, a memory of times past to those once lived”.
She sat on the floor where she was standing half a second ago and continued. “I am Victoria Bernadette and I reside here with Monica and Jules Revenant”. As she spoke he noticed the room in which they were in. It was the ruminants of a ball room. Rich dark wooden floor and windowed walls with gold curtains, toppled over goblet, and two beings were the only occupants of the room. “My family has also taken you in Nickolas Verdure upon request” with the last words something flared in her eyes. “Upon request of whom?” he asked becoming uneasy with the conversation. “Me”.
The situation was throwing him off he was dead “I’m dead”. He voiced his concern. As she got off the floor and within touching distance she spoke “You are among the undead now”.With the shyness of a whore the touched the base of his neck the feeling was cooling and stung. Her fingers traced two puncture wounds as she said “You now control life, death and everything in-between my vampire”. The term vampire left her mouth with such endearment he felt compelled to kiss her.
“I’m now a vampire?” he asked not entirely shocked. In 1934 it wasn’t too uncommon one turning up undead. He just never thought a thing like this would happen to him. “You are now my vampire; you were changed to be my mate”. That wasn’t such a letdown he thought, she was beautiful in an unperfected way. “Oh” he let slip through his lips in realization. “Come” she said taking his hand in hers and trailed in toward the exit of the room.
Passing room through on Victoria’s grand tour held little of his attention and proved a bigger question. As they came upon the door in which Victoria said was their quarters he stopped, halting her also. “Why Me?” the question was partly for his self esteem and partly for understanding. She cocked her head to the side as if for understand his question and came to a resolution “I wanted you”. He gathered that the question was lost and motioned for her to continue the tour.
As she pushed through the two great oak doors the image of their room astonished him. She finally let him go and child like jumped on the bed. The image of ruffled hair lying on the bed he’d share with him and the glow of a thousand candles places strategically around the room made something inside of him stir. As if sensing this within him she slightly let herself sink more into the mattress. As she moved her grey thigh length skirt revealed more, her black silk button up propped slightly to the side, and her black heels eased themselves off.
Why was this goddess of the night his by an offer he couldn’t refuse? With speed and grace Nickolas was unaware he possessed he made his way to her side. He lightly smoothed his hand over her chocolate spill on the pillows. Then his fingers found their way to her face and eventually to her collar bone. She slightly panted as she said “You need to feed”. “What?” he asked too caught in the events folding out in front of him. She put her wrist to her mouth and winced.
An aged copper smell filled his nostrils and plunged his mouth to her offered wrist. It was better than the first time he mused. The stern tug of his hair made him stop and he gazed down at Victoria. She looked spent.
****
“Madame Verdure, you look absolutely breathtaking” a human servant said to the sole airs of the night. She was being secured in to one of her mothers favorites, given the occasion. “Yes, Madame Marisol” the other servant dressing her chimed in. They dressed her in a floor length off white ball gown with soft pink trimming. She sat in a backless chair and they began work. As her hair was pulled, twisted, and pinned this way and that, she contemplated her after life. How and who she was. The lovely daughter of Nickolas and Victoria Verdure, princess of hunger and lust, or a child forced to grow up too fast.
She was created on July 31, 1990 when she was just of 18. It happen as quick as a blink, all she remembers is waking up in a daze hungry for life. She was taught, fed, and given everything she ever wanted by her now parents. They truly did love her and she being a child accepted and retuned their love. But after 22 years of being 18 she brought to her parents attention she needed something new, companionship of one her own age. And always Marisol Isabella Verdure got as she wished. As the final string of pearls was tinned into her intricate bun she sat there looking at herself.
“Marisol” the warm voice of her father called from the doorway. She was always to connect better with him, he stilled remembered what life was like. But still she adored he mothers grace, beauty, and education. Her mother was her best friend. As she turned to face the regal beginnings in the door she knew it was time. With one last glance at the mirror she stood. They each took one of her hands and made way to the ball room.
Victoria gave her a quick peck on the cheek and moved forward holding her husband’s hand. As they made way down the stairs, a guard announced their presence to the guests below. It was now Marisol’s time, she had asked for it. She was ready for it. She straightened her back and took it one step at a time. She eyes of a hundred undead and several living met hers. She swept the crowd for familiar faces she entered her coming out party. By the suns rising she would be a woman. She noted her parents, her Uncle Jules and Auntie Monica, and the other royals of the land seated toward the back of the room.
This was her night and they all honored that. As her feet softly landed on the ballroom floor, a vampire who looked as young as her kneeled in front of her. She addressed his presence with a curtsy and he stood. She watched as his almond eyes swept over her and how his boyish smile set something a blaze inside her. He adjusted his Calvary uniform’s jacket and took her hand to lead her to the dance floor. The orchestra began to play and her guests started to dance.
Marisol was awe stricken by the high-end fabric, jewels, and assortments around her. Everyone seemed so willing to impress her. The unnecessary exhale of breath on her neck surprised her. “Madame” the once solider of the land called to her as he spun her around in a slow turn. “Yes my kind sir” she kindly replied. “I’m Sir William Eric Maxwell of the Roman Calvary”. She studied his featured from the slightly outgrown hair cut to the way he look at her as if awaiting approval.
“It is my honor to meet you Sir Maxwell” “Please” he interjected “Call me William”. She gave him a half hearted smile and replied “Call me Marisol” as the song ended they stood there a moment. Once they finally gathered there wits he bowed and kissed her hand. The gesture, although respectful and distant, sent chills of excitement through her body. He seemed to sense this and slightly lingered. The night continued with a sootier knelling before her, a dance, and the feeling that it wasn’t better then the first.
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“Nickolas honey” Victoria motioned toward her husband as they watch over their daughter. “Yes my lovely” “Do you see what I see?” “That our daughter has taken to a sootier”. They gave each a knowing look filled with romance and remembrance. “Sister of mine” Jules called from a seat over. Breaking her wordless conversation with her husband she turned toward her brother. The being that shares a creator with her and answered, “Yes”.
“The niece of mine is exchanging glances with the apprentice of mine”. She understood where the reference in his words lay “So it seems she is”. Jules bellowed a laugh that caught the attention of a few guests and followed with “Must all the women of this house take my good men?” The sarcastic question was a reminder of how Victoria and Nickolas met. Nickolas was a general in the Calvary hired to protect the Revenant estate at a point and time.
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By the end of the night she had dismissed over two dozen of the finest men of the undead land. But one still held her attention. As she watched the men in uniform gather near the double glass door that lead to the orchard on in particular had her gather a quickened pace. “Sir William” Marisol greeted the being with his back to her. “Yes my lady” he said turning toward her. She unconsciously batted her eyes and gave him an uncertain look.
“Would you like to accompany me to the Russian ballet in two suns passing?”Her nervousness astounded him more than her approach, how could the daughter this land find speaking to a common solder nerve racking? It dawned on him she was awaiting a reply as he watched her eye lashed kiss her cheeks. “It would do me a great honor escort you” he said with a gentleman’s bow. Then he departed with the rest of his company.
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Marisol was in white silk two pieces sleeping set standing on her balcony when her mother entered. She noticed but didn’t advance her presence, thoughts of a night ago held her attention.